


Through the Dark

by berettajane



Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band)
Genre: Abusive Relationships, Additional Warnings Apply, Counselor!Ashton, Counselor!Calum, Cutting, Depression, Domestic Violence, Eventual Happy Ending, Eventual Relationships, Eventual Romance, Eventual Smut, F/M, Hesitant Ashton, I suck at tags, May turn this into a series if I can get her to get her shit together, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Past Abuse, Protective Ashton, Protective Calum, Sad Ashton, Self-Harm, Starting Over, Therapy, Triggers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-24
Updated: 2016-10-08
Packaged: 2018-06-10 08:59:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 15
Words: 27,195
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6949624
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/berettajane/pseuds/berettajane
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>TRIGGER WARNING!!! Please see the tags!</p><p>Samantha is an artist in an abusive relationship.  Ashton works as a counselor at a domestic violence clinic with Calum, when he meets Samantha at her darkest hour.  Follow them through Samantha's journey as Ashton does everything he can to help her Through the Dark.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Darker and Darker

**Author's Note:**

> First and foremost, TRIGGER WARNING! If you are triggered by anything named in the tags, or anything associated with the tags, please do not read this.
> 
> Second, I understand that timelines of recovering from abuse are not this quick. The only reason they are in this work is for the sake of writing a FICTIONAL story and keeping it moving forward. Please understand that I have never endured abuse to this extent. With that being said, if there is anything medically, mentally, or otherwise off about the content of this work, please allow me to apologize in advance as I have no way of knowing how to accurately convey such facts other than how they are in this work.
> 
> Work title inspired by One Direction's 'Through the Dark'.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNING!!! Please see the tags!
> 
> Samantha is an artist in an abusive relationship. Ashton works as a counselor at a domestic violence clinic with Calum, when he meets Samantha at her darkest hour. Follow them through Samantha's journey as Ashton does everything he can to help her Through the Dark.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First and foremost, TRIGGER WARNING! If you are triggered by anything named in the tags, or anything associated with the tags, please do not read this.
> 
> Second, I understand that timelines of recovering from abuse are not this quick. The only reason they are in this work is for the sake of writing a FICTIONAL story and keeping it moving forward. Please understand that I have never endured abuse to this extent. With that being said, if there is anything medically, mentally, or otherwise off about the content of this work, please allow me to apologize in advance as I have no way of knowing how to accurately convey such facts other than how they are in this work.
> 
> Work title inspired by One Direction's 'Through the Dark'.
> 
>  
> 
> I do not own the picture! I am only using it as a reference for the image of Samantha I had in my head. The person in the picture is Alona Tal, who plays Jo Harvelle in Supernatural.
> 
> And yes, I realize that I picked pictures of someone whose eyes are brown and Sam's eyes are green. It'll be okay, I promise.

 

                                                                                

 

 

She took a deep breath before allowing her pen to scratch across the page, being the only sound to reach her ears, other than the rustling of the leaves as the wind glided through them. _Just one more page_ , she thought to herself, needing to get her thoughts out on paper before they nearly pushed her to the brink of insanity for one more day.  

Her eyes welled up with tears as the memories flashed across her eyes: his smile, his shoulders, the look he had in his eyes when he caught a glimpse of her in passing.  She tried and tried, but she couldn't get him out of her head.  She focused in on every detail of him, not because she wanted to, but because she HAD to.  

She thought that maybe, if she remembered through the pain, she could forget; she could move on, live her life, and find happiness in life's simple things again.  The tears began to stream down her face, and she didn't even care anymore; she just wanted this hurt to be gone.  She knew he stopped caring long ago, evident in his actions each day.  They were two pieces of a puzzle that never quite fit, but she refused to acknowledge all of the red flags, or listen to the comments he would make.  He was all she had left in this world.

He did that to her intentionally, wanting to isolate her so she would break down, eventually being void of emotions and thoughts of her own.  He separated her from her friends and family, dragging everything and everyone she loved through the mud to make himself look better by making her only want to be with him.  She hadn't spoken to her family in well over a year, her friends were gone long before that.  

She realized much too late that he had made up lies and falsified situations where her family had said negative things about them, both as a couple and individually, breaking her to her core.  After falling out with her loved ones, she lost her passion for drawing.  Half-finished portraits strewn across her office, stuck in books.  

She used to sit in the park, enjoying families and couples playing and spending time together, sketching them and giving the pictures to them if they stayed long enough, or getting a basic idea down and letting her imagination run wild when she got home, having a few drinks and laughing to herself as she often added monsters or funny costumes.  

She hadn't touched her sketchbooks or charcoals in months, having retreated into herself after being constantly badgered with more negative comments.  Whether it be a lazy eye, or crooked nose, he would always find something to pick apart her drawings.  Her breath quickened as she kept darkening his eyes, but she knew she could never get them as black as his soul.  Darker and darker, she dug until she nearly ripped through the page.  She felt her chest tighten, and she realized that she was having a panic attack.  

Her hands trembled before dropping her sketchbook and tightly shut her eyes, pressing her hands on either side of her head as she began to rock back and forth, bring her knees to her chest on the park bench.  She didn't realize she was screaming until she felt her throat start to get raw.

She inhaled a ragged breath and opened her eyes.  She looked around, only to see everyone in the park staring at her.  She scrambled to her feet and started running.  She ran across the park until her legs gave out, and her lungs burned from rapidly inhaling the crisp October air.  She fell to her knees after she got about 15 feet into the tree line. That's when she finally realized:  he won.  

 The bastard got what he wanted.  He was able to run around doing everything and everyone he wanted, and she was damn near as broken as a human being could be.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it's heavy subject material, but I still hope you enjoyed it! More to come!
> 
> Let me know what you think!


	2. Angels

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "You don't know the first thing about me," Samantha said, roughly, her tear-filled eyes darting wildly between both of his.  
> "Please, Samantha," Ashton breathed. "I can help you."  
> "How?" Samantha's voice cracked as she felt her cheeks heating up under Ashton's gaze. "How could you possibly help someone like me? No one can help me. Not now."

                                                           

 

 

She hadn't eaten in over four days, nor had she showered or changed clothes.  This was the first day in nearly three weeks that she had left the house.  She hadn't spoken to another person in over a week.  She released the breath she didn't realize she had been holding in and ran her hands over her hair to smooth it, sitting down and resting her elbows on her knees.  

She heard footsteps crashing, the leaves crunching under each step.  Her head snapped up at the sounds, only to see a man in front of her with her backpack and sketchbook in his hands.  When her eyes caught his, he stopped in his tracks, slowly walking towards her with her bag and book in front of him as a peace offering.  

 

"I'm sorry," he said softly, "but you left these behind."  He slowly walked over to her, making sure that she didn't feel threatened by any sudden movements.  He knelt down in front of her, setting her belongings down.  His eyes softened as he saw the broken woman in front of him, his heart breaking for her, wondering what must have happened for her to have become like this.  
"My name is Ashton.  What is your name?" he spoke softly.  
She opened and closed her mouth, trying to speak for the first time in so long.  "Samantha," she said.   
_Even her voice was broken_ , he thought to himself.  

 

"Hi, Samantha," Ashton said, trying to smile at her.  "Do you mind if I sit with you?" he asked softly, motioning to the ground with an open hand.  She shook her head slightly, pulling her knees closer to her chest.  "Are you from around here?" he asked, wondering if she was physically running from something...or someone.

She shook her head.  "I moved here three years ago.  I'm from North Carolina."  
"What brought you here?  That's quite a long ways,"  Ashton said, trying to smile again.  
"The University.  I was hoping to start a career,"  Samantha said, motioning to her sketchbook.  She bit her lip, missing how carefree life was when she first moved here.  Anxious, but happy, and willing to try anything once, and twice if she liked it.  
"You're quite talented, Samantha,"  Ashton said, hoping to reassure her, but only earning a wide-eyed look.  "The book was open when it fell.  I saw some of the pictures when I was trying to catch up with you,"  he said, quickly, feeling that he violated her privacy.  "I'm sorry."  He bit his lip and focused his eyes on the ground.  
"It's okay,"  she said, barely audible.  Ashton looked up at Samantha, catching her sad eyes.  
"Is there anywhere I can take you?  Anyone I can call for you?  A friend or family member?"  Ashton asked, hoping to help her in some way.

Samantha's gaze slowly turned to the ground as she thought of how much she missed her family, wondering if they'll ever forgive her for letting all of this happen.   
"No, thank you.  I'm fine,"  she said, picking herself up off the ground, quickly dusting herself off before putting her sketchbook in her backpack and throwing it over her shoulder.  "Thank you, again...for bringing me my stuff,"  Samantha said, walking away as her voice started to break.  
"Wait!"  Ashton said, standing and turning to catch Samantha's arm before stepping in front of her, causing her to tense under his touch.  His eyebrows furrowed as he looked down at her arm in his hand.  Samantha quickly pulled her sleeves down, and tried to side-step Ashton, but not before he saw the angry-red marks on her skin, fresh marks.  

Samantha's tears now streaming down her cheeks as Ashton put his hands on her shoulders, his eyes wide with concern.  "Wait," he said again, softly this time, his eyes catching hers as Samantha's bottom lip began to tremble.  This was the first time in years that anyone had seen her scars, let alone confronted her about them.

She began thinking about how her boyfriend, Jason, had never seemed to look closely enough to notice, and had never asked her about them, so she assumed he didn't care.  She tried to best to wear long sleeves, even in the summer.  Most people just thought it was an artist's quirk, never bothering to questioning her.  

Ashton ran his thumb gently down Samantha's forearm, making her close her eyes tightly, turning her face away from Ashton's so he couldn't look at her.  "Let me help you,"  Ashton whispered.

Samantha jerked her arm out of his hand, and quickly walked away, crossing her arms over her chest tightly.  No one had ever touched her scars before.  Ashton, growing worried, sprinted after her, grabbing her elbow lightly to stop her.  Seeing Samantha's shoulders begin to shake, he knew she was seconds from breaking.

"You don't know the first thing about me,"  Samantha said, roughly, her tear-filled eyes darting wildly between both of his.  
"Please, Samantha,"  Ashton breathed.  "I can help you."  
"How?" Samantha's voice cracked as she felt her cheeks heating up under Ashton's gaze.  "How could you possibly help someone like me?  No one can help me.  Not now."  

Ashton's heart broke for the stranger in the woods.  She's right.  He didn't know her but he did know how to help her.  

"Please," Ashton said, stepping towards her.  "I'm a counselor for the domestic violence center.  I work with some of the best psychologists and counselors in the state.  I can get you help.  You don't have to run anymore,"  Ashton said, quietly, having seen her actions a thousand times in other men, women, and children.  He wanted nothing more than to help her, to heal her.  He slowly reached into his jeans pocket, not wanting to startle her.

Samantha's breath quickened, not knowing what he was reaching for, only to relax slightly as he handed her a business card.  "Angel's Sanctuary" was scrawled across the top of the card with an address, office number, and emergency number.  

"Please, keep it.  My name and cell phone number are on the back.  Call me anytime, day or night, even if it's just to talk,"  Ashton said, nervously.  He slowly rubbed his palm up and down Samantha's upper arm, hoping to comfort her.  "Call me and we can talk, or I can come get you and arrange for somewhere for you to stay, help you get on your feet.  Text me if it's not safe for you to call, and I will be there as soon as I can."

Samantha was at a loss for words.  What does someone say to that?  What does someone say to the first person to ever acknowledge the secret they've always hidden from the world.  She looked back up to Ashton before nodding quickly and slowly walking away from him.  She looked back at him over her shoulder before crossing her arms over her chest, her sleeves tightly gripped in her hands as she began the walk across the park to her car.

Ashton watched her walk away, not knowing what to do.  He couldn't force her into getting help, he knew that, but it didn't stop him from closing his eyes, letting every detail of the beautiful young lady burn into his mind, never wanting to forget her.  He wanted to be able to help her, but he knew he could only hope for her to contact him.  He opened his eyes and began to walk to the opposite side of the park, rethinking every detail of what just happened.  

He took a deep breath, knowing this was only the beginning of a long night.  "Shit," he muttered, beginning to jog to his car now, realizing he only had 15 minutes to get across town and to the domestic violence clinic to begin his shift for the night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think!


	3. Toxic

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Where the fuck are you?!" Jason slurred, hiccuping in his rage.  
>  "I'm stuck in traffic, Jase. I'll be right home," she said, nearly puking in her mouth at the thought of coming "home" to Jason. Yay, she thought.  
>  "You've got 10 minutes," Jason said harshly.

                                                                                    

 

Samantha climbed in the car, putting her bag int he passenger seat.  She looked through the windshield, watching the families throwing a football back and forth, or setting food on a blanket from a picnic basket.  She watched as they lived their lives, laughing, smiling, loving.  She exhaled deeply before she reached into her bag to get her keys.  She started the car and headed home. _Home_ , she thought, _what_ _the fuck is that anymore?_   

She pulled up to a stop sign, and her head snapped to her bag as her phone began to ring.  She felt her breath hitch in her through, knowing it was Jason.  Sure enough, "Jason" flashed on the screen.  She thought about opening her door and throwing the phone out, then driving until she ran out of gas, not caring where she went as long as it was away from here, but she knew she couldn't do that.  She closed her eyes, letting out a deep breath, and answered the phone, bracing herself for the shitstorm that was about to unfold.

 

"Where the fuck are you?!" Jason slurred, hiccuping in his rage.  
"I'm stuck in traffic, Jase.  I'll be right home," she said, nearly puking in her mouth at the thought of coming "home" to Jason.   _Yay_ , she thought.  
"You've got 10 minutes,"  Jason said harshly.  
"10 minutes?  What am I supposed to do, Jason?  Fly home?  I don't know how long I'm going to be.  There's a wreck, and the highway is packed.  I don't know when I'm going to be home, but I'll be there as soon as I can."  Samantha hung up the phone, throwing it into her bag in the passenger seat.

 

Samantha felt sick.  What could have happened for Jason to be drunk before 5pm on a Tuesday?  Her eyes gazed at the winding highway.   _If only..._ , she thought to herself.  Images of mountains and endless green trees flashed in front of her eyes--home.  She exhaled sadly, her thoughts interrupted by a honk.  She shook her head, breaking her daydream.  She looked around quickly before pulling forward and onto the highway.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think!


	4. The Sky is falling

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some sanctuary, Ashton scoffed to himself, knowing that the scene behind him was, no doubt, one of their patients caught in exactly what they came to Angel's Sanctuary to get away from. Tonight's going to be a long one, he sighed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it's a heavy topic, just be patient--fluff is on the way!
> 
> Again, please understand that this is purely fiction and that I understand that this is not a realistic depiction of healing from abuse, physically or mentally.

                                                                                     

 

 

"Come on, Cal.  Pick up the damn phone,"  Ashton said, bouncing on the balls of his feet.  He looked around, seeing police everywhere in front of the clinic building.  
"You've reached Calum--"  Ashton cut the message off by ending the call.   
"Shit," he muttered under his breath, leaning up to look around the crowd, looking for his coworkers in the sea of people running around.

"Ashton!  Ashton, over here!"  Ashton turned quickly, catching the sight of arms waving over the head of a tiny brunette.  
"Lena!" Ashton called, making his way over to her slowly in all of the people.  "Lena, what happened?" Ashton said when she was within earshot.  
"That's what I've been trying to figure out,"  she said anxiously.  "I was coming back from a coffee run, and this is what I came back to."  Ashton wrapped his arms around her, rubbing her upper back slightly, hoping to comfort her.

 Ashton's eyes caught a glimpse of the scene inside the building.  He quickly stepped onto the curb, not only to get out of the way of the emergency responders, but also to shield Lena from the sight behind him.   _She's too young to see this today_ , he thought to himself as a body bag was pushed out behind him on a stretcher.  Ashton took the young receptionist's shoulders into his hands, forcing her to turn around and away from the chaos.   _Some sanctuary_ , Ashton scoffed to himself, knowing that the scene behind him was, no doubt, one of their patients caught in exactly what they came to Angel's Sanctuary to get away from.   _Tonight's going to be a long one_ , he sighed.

His thoughts were soon rerouted when he felt his phone vibrating in his pocket.  The caller ID flashed 'Calum'.  He immediately accepted the call, putting the phone to his ear and returning his hand to the middle of Lena's back, trying to keep her moving forward and away from the clinic.

"Ash, where are you?!"  Calum said quickly, yelling over the noise of the sirens as the ambulance pulled away.  
"Heading to the Jumping Bean.  I have Lena with me.  I just pulled up a few minutes ago,"  Ashton paused, quickly thinking back on his day, and wondering what else could possibly happen today.  "Calum, what the hell happened?"   
"It was Skyler," Calum said quietly.   
Ashton stopped in his tracks.  "What?" he asked, thinking of the blue-eyed girl who was finally coming to her own after years of abuse, degradation, addiction, and self-harm.  Six months clean on her birthday, and she was beyond excited to spend her first one in over a decade sober.  
"Skyler.  She got a message that she had a visitor up front, and she thought it was her mom coming to bring her a gift and take her out for lunch, but it wasn't her mom... it was Daniel,"  Calum said, his voice strained as he tried to contain himself.  
"Bastard,"  Ashton said, clenching his teeth.  "She was finally making progress.  She was starting to live again,"  Ashton said, turning to see whose footsteps he heard, only to see Calum running to catch up with Ashton and Lena.  They both hung up as Calum clapped Ashton on the back before turning to Lena, taking her in his arms, hugging her tightly.  
"I'm sorry, love,"  Calum whispered into Lena's hair as he rubbed her back.  Lena has grown pretty close with Skyler over the last several months, or as close as you can become with a broken person on the mend.  
"Did they catch him?" Ashton asked, holding the door to open for them as they entered the café.  His blood was beginning to boil at the thought of the bastard walking free after blatantly stealing Skyler's life.  
"Oh, yeah.  He caught two in the chest," Calum said, pulling away from Lena to look up at Ashton.  "He barricaded himself at the front desk, saying anyone who tried to help her was next.  Someone next door must have called the cops because Daniel had everyone face down on the floor.  The cops burst in, he turned his gun on them, and they shot him.  Skyler was gone before they could get to her,"  Calum's voice trailed off.  He started wringing his hands as his gaze turned to them.  His body stiffened as he realized there was blood on them—Skyler's blood.  "Excuse me," he said quietly as he rushed off  to the washroom.

Ashton and Lena got in line, hoping his friend, coworkers, and the patients were okay.  He moved along, placing his order, getting something for Calum, too.  

"Are you sure you don't want anything, Lena?" Ashton said softly, putting his hand on Lena's arm, startling her.  
"I'm fine, thank you,"  she said quietly.  It was clear that had been there for a few of Skyler's close calls, but it still didn't lessen the reality that she was gone.

Calum came back from the washroom, joining Lena and Ashton at a table by the window.  Calum kept a hand on the back of Lena's chair as his eyes caught Ashton's.  "Thank you," he mouthed.  Ashton nodded.  Calum struck a conversation with Lena, hoping to get their minds away from today's events.

 Ashton's thoughts strayed back to earlier today--to the girl at the park.   _Poor girl_ , Ashton thought as he remembered the tears flowing from her sad, scared eyes--the subtle flinches she tried to hide every time the wind even grazed her skin.  The symptoms were all to familiar to him because he saw them in his patients every day.

 It was that moment that he knew he had to find her; he had to save her.  It was obvious to him that she was in a bad situation, and had been for some time now.  He mentally kicked himself for not watching her leave the park or make any effort as to finding out where she was heading.  He didn't know how he'd find her now.   _Keep her safe_ , he whispered to the Universe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think!


	5. Off-track

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Samantha? Sam, hold on! Help is on the way!" she heard the voice say as it grew faint until all she could hear was a thunderstorm in the distance. She saw dark clouds above the mountains moving faster and faster across the sky. Home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: Please pay attention to the tags before reading this chapter. If you are not comfortable reading anything that is tagged, you should stop BEFORE you read this chapter.
> 
> I do not own the picture used! The person pictured is Taylor York from Paramore. I am in no way, shape, or form, stating that he is anything like Jason. I am purely using his picture as a reference for how I saw Jason in my head.

                                                                               

She drew a long breath, steeling herself as she stood in front of the door to the apartment she shared with Jason.  It took everything she had to not turn and run the opposite way, not caring if she only had the clothes on her back. _There has to be more than this_ , she tilted her head back and stared at the ceiling, promising herself that she wouldn't have to put up with this much longer, one way or another.  

She was startled back to reality with a thud and a loud curse coming from inside the apartment.  She took another deep breath and forced herself to turn the doorknob and enter the apartment.  Samantha set her keys into the bowl by the front door and looked at the bottles and various trash scattered across the tables and other surfaces of the room.  Jason was sitting on the couch with three of his friends, playing video games, completely consumed by the TV.  Samantha walked into the kitchen to grab a drink out of the fridge before walking into the bedroom she shared with Jason and shut the door.  She set her backpack next to the bed before sitting on the edge, her head in her hands.  

  
_I don't know how much more I can take_ , she thought, feeling her breathing speed up as she ran through the events of the day, beginning with the fight she had with Jason this morning before he left for work.  He had slammed the door behind him so hard that the walls rattled and a picture fell off, breaking and throwing glass everywhere beneath it.  She went to pick it up and saw that it was a picture of her and Jason at Samantha's parents' house early in their relationship.  

  
_Things used to be so simple_ , she thought.  She ran through their relationship in her head, images of the memories flashing through her mind, and she began to see when it all got so complicated; when the violence, possessiveness, and isolation began.  She winced as a few particular memories stuck out in her mind, like when she lied to her mother when she couldn't make it to her birthday party because of "food poisoning", when, in reality, she just wasn’t able to cover up her black eye and cut on her cheek from when Jason sucker-punched her for breaking a plate when she was doing dishes.  

Her mind wandered to when she had to wear a hoodie to her sister's 4th of July barbeque because of the handprint Jason left on her neck when she turned away from him during an argument.   _How could I let it get this far?_ she asked herself.  It was then that she remembered that the man in the park had given her a card.  She pulled her bag from the floor, searching through it until she found the card.  She flipped it over in her hands a few times.   _I have to do this,_ she thought.  She tucked the card under her leg and lifted her head when she heard Jason stumble through the bedroom door, his friends still in the living room.

"Where were you all day?" he slurred, trying his best to stand upright and cross his arms.  She felt her body begin to shake, unsure of what his next move would be.

"I had to run a few errands," she said quietly, which wasn't completely untrue.  

 

She had left the house this morning for milk from the corner store, but she never quite made it there.  She was having too much fun being outside, being around people, hearing their voices swirl around her as she walked down the busy city street.  She got distracted by a mural along the side of a building, and was instantly pained with the desire to draw.  She felt inspired for the first time in a long time.  

She hurried home, and sat at her desk, hoping the ideas would just flow--like opening a floodgate.  When nothing came to her after 10 minutes, she remembered how much fun she had when she drew people she had watched in the park in the center of the city.  She packed her sketchbook and a few pens in her backpack before leaving for the park, excited to be inspired again.  When she got to the park, she sat at her favorite bench with the best view of the park and looked around, waiting for something to catch her eye.  

When nothing came to her, she began to let her hand scrawl across the page, letting it do as it pleased.  It was when she got to the eyes that she realized she was drawing Jason.  It wasn't Jason in his current state, but rather the Jason she had fallen in love with in what seems like a lifetime ago now.

 

"Errands?" Jason scoffed.  "What errands would you possibly need to run?  You don't do anything all fucking day!  What's his name?" Jason yelled, getting angrier by the word.  "What's his fucking name, Samantha?!"  Jason yelled, stepping into Samantha's space.  She tried to scoot backwards, but his hand caught her calf and pulled her to him.   
"You goddamn slut!"  Jason backhanded Samantha, causing her vision to blur.  "After all that I've done for you?!  This is what I get in return?!"  he was bent over her, screaming in her face.  Her eyes felt glued shut as her body trembled with fear.  
"Answer me, bitch!" Jason said, slapping Samantha again.  Samantha let out a whimper as she reeled backwards.  She scrambled to the head of the bed, hoping to get out of arms' reach.  "Where do you think you're going?" Jason growled as he stepped to the side of the bed, reaching forward and grabbing Samantha by her throat.

Samantha let out a raspy "help" as she kicked and slapped Jason, doing everything she could think of to break his grasp.  Nothing seemed to work, and Samantha felt herself begin to fade out of consciousness.  With the last bit of strength in her body, she dug her thumb into Jason's eye, causing him to scream and let go.

"You stupid bitch!  You're going to pay for this!" he growled, shaking his head with his eyes closed.  By the time he went to look at her again, she was running into the living room.  Jason caught up with her, grabbing a handful of her hair, pulling her backwards until she crashed against the wall next to the bedroom door.  Samantha's eyes darted around the room, hoping Jason's friends would see she needed help and stop Jason in his drunken rage.  She looked towards the couch, seeing their eyes still glued to the TV.  They've never stopped him before, why would they start now?  

Her thoughts broke as she felt a hand in the hair on top of her head, pulling her to a standing position before slamming her head-first into the wall behind her.  Black spots returned to her vision, only to worsen as his blows began to land anywhere he could reach.  The last thing Samantha saw before slipping into the darkness was her neighbor bursting through the door and dragging Jason off of Samantha, who was now in a heap on the floor.

"Samantha?  Sam, hold on! Help is on the way!"  she heard the voice say as it grew faint until all she could hear was a thunderstorm in the distance.  She saw dark clouds above the mountains moving faster and faster across the sky.   _Home._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think!


	6. Emergency

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Ashton...we're here, man," Calum said, the tone of his voice indicating that it's not the first time he tried to get Ashton's attention. "Where's your head at, Ash?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, everyone! Hope you're all doing well. I've actually been working on this for a few months, so while I may be posting Chapter 6 today, I'm actually finishing writing Chapter 11. I'll try to post one a day, or a few chapters on a day where I've gone a few days without posting. If you have any suggestions along the way for how you think things should go, or anything at all, just let me know!

                                                                            

When their coffees were long gone, and the crowd finally dissipated, Calum, Lena, and Ashton decided to head back to the clinic to help clean up and begin checking on their patients.  They walked in as the director of Angel's Sanctuary, Mr. Vincent, was finishing up his announcement to the staff.

"I will be speaking to the senior staff members, as well as members of the Board of Psychology from the State to see what policy changes need to be made to prevent this from ever happening again,"  Mr. Vincent said, looking at the solemn faces in the crowd of staff before him.  Everyone felt it was their fault, but knew there was nothing different they could have done.

When the meeting finished, Ashton grabbed his clipboard and began making his rounds, checking on each of his patients, and seeing if they were exhibiting any warning signs leading to a dangerous reaction to the events of the day.  

Four patients in, he heard a knock on the door of his patient's room.  Calum peaked his head in, "Ashton, I'm sorry, but we just got a call from the hospital.  There's an emergency case they brought in that the doctors think may be a candidate for the Sanctuary."  

Ashton turned back to Brandon, who was a resident that had grown close to Skyler through their similar dark pasts.  "I'm going to send another counselor in to finish meeting with you tonight, but we'll definitely talk tomorrow, okay?" Ashton said, placing a comforting hand on Brandon's knee before standing up and walking out of the room behind Calum.  He walked up to the nurses' deck and turned in his clipboard.  

"Abby, would you mind sending Mr. Vincent in to speak to Brandon for me?  And I would have someone check his room during dinner and keep an eye on him tonight."  
"Yes, sir.  I'll add him to the list," the nurse said with a soft smile, knowing tonight would be a tough one for many of the residents.

Ashton turned to Calum and followed him into the breakroom to gather their things, and get details on the emergency case at the hospital.

"We got a call from Dr. Sandberg on the north side of town.  He said they got a young lady in tonight who was found in pretty rough shape.  Early to mid 20s and rail thin.  Neighbor called 911 after hearing a fight next door and found her beat to shit and unconscious.  Four males ran out the door before he was able to get a good look at them, but he's pretty sure one of them was her live-in boyfriend,"  Calum filled Ashton in as they walked to Calum's car and began the trip to the hospital on the north side of town.

"This girl's going to need extensive rehabilitation and therapy, by the information I got from Dr. Sandberg.  She's got bruises in various stages of healing, scars on her face, legs, and arms.  Some may be self-harm, but this is definitely a long-term abuse case.  Police report said she was underweight, but the house was stocked with food.  Broken glass was found in the kitchen trash with fresh blood on it.  We're probably not going to get the full story for a while, but I definitely think she's going to need somewhere to stay when she gets released from the hospital.  She's going to need full confidentiality and security," Calum continued on, but Ashton was only half-listening.  He was too into his thoughts surrounding the girl in the park today, and how beautiful she was, even in her severely broken state.  

He wanted to know more about her; about her past, her present, her dreams.  He wanted to know how she was like before she became the person she is today, and then thought of how sad it would be if she was always this way; if she was not only broken, but never being whole to begin with.

 

It's people like the girl in the park that are the reason he got into counseling to begin with.  He wanted to help the broken and down-trodden people.  He wanted to help them be their own people again, or for the first time in their lives.  He knew getting into this that he would come across people he couldn't help, people too far gone before he could get to them.  It was the success stories, the people on the road to finding happiness again that were his reason for continuing his work.  The people like Skyler.

Ashton closed his eyes and was thankful that she was at least not in harm's way anymore, and that no one else could cause the beautiful soul anymore pain.

 

 "Ashton...we're here, man," Calum said, the tone of his voice indicating that it's not the first time he tried to get Ashton's attention.  "Where's your head at, Ash?"  Calum said, having taken his seatbelt off and turned to face Ashton in the car.  

Ashton shook his head, not feeling up to explaining himself at the moment.  "Come on.  Let's head in before it gets too late,"  he said, climbing out of the car.

 

They walked in, heading to the information desk.  "We're here from Angel's Sanctuary.  We got a call from a Dr. Sandberg that there was an emergency situation,"  Ashton said to the nurse.   
She looked at the badges around their necks before flipping through her notes and saying, "Floor 7, is what note I have here for you.  Just go to the nurses' station there, and they'll direct you."

Walking into the elevator and pushing the button for the 7th floor, Ashton and Calum kept their eyes down, mentally preparing themselves for the scene they were about to take in with the information they had, knowing they could never truly be prepared when it came to the unknown mixed with the rage of someone using another human being as their punching bag.

 

They headed to the nurses' station and waited for one of the nurses to get off the phone before finding out which room they needed to be in.  They looked around at all of the various medical professionals bustling around, doing what they can to help their patients.

"How can I help you?" A man in blue scrubs with his hands in the pockets of his white coat said, snapping them back to reality.  
"We're from Angel's Sanctuary.  We got a call from Dr. Sandberg about an emergency," Ashton said, showing his badge.  

The man took his right hand out of his coat pocket.  "I'm Dr. Sandberg, but please, call me Keith.  Come with me,"  he said, a slight frown pulling at the side of his mouth.  Ashton and Calum looked at each other, understanding the severity of the situation.  They followed the doctor without saying a word.

They walked down the long hallway, absentmindedly peering into rooms as they passed, seeing relieved faces of loved ones as they spoke to the patients awake in their beds, and the worried faces of loved ones as they stared at the patients lying in the beds, eyes unopened, as they were hooked up to various machines beeping at steady rates. The two men focused their attention to Keith once more as he stopped in front of a door.  He looked at both men, having a silent conversation with them before nodding and opening the curtain to the room, passing the security guards as they walked in.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think!


	7. Haunting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Calum grabbed Ashton's elbow, leading him outside of the hospital room so that they could speak above a whisper without disturbing the poor girl.  
> "Talk to me, Ash. How'd you meet her?" Calum asked, passing the security guards stood outside the room and leaning his shoulder against the wall.

                                                                                    

 

 

Ashton's eyebrows furrowed as he took small steps towards the patient in the bed, thinking of how tiny she looked in the hospital bed, with the gown falling slightly off her shoulder, obviously too big for her.  She was intubated, a machine making whooshing sounds, and beeping as it breathed for her, her tiny chest rising and falling with a slow rhythm.  

 

As he got closer to the patient, he felt his breath hitch in his through as he began to think of how familiar her hair looked as it fell in soft waves down her shoulders.  He stared at the broken person in front of him, the back of her head bandaged, bruises around her throat, various butterfly bandages across her eyebrow and cheek.  The left side of her face was black and blue, her lip swollen and split at the side, and bandages were wrapped around her wrists.

"This is Samantha,"  Keith said quietly.  "She was brought in by an ambulance after a neighbor went into the apartment she shares with her boyfriend, hearing yelling and crashes."

Ashton felt the sounds around him fade; the beeping of the machines, Calum asking the severity of her injuries, Keith's response.  His sight narrowed to the face of the broken girl as he realized she was the girl from the park, the one he spoke to in the woods as he returned her backpack and sketchbook.

His mind only snapped back to reality when he heard Keith say they found a business card for Angel's Sanctuary by her bag in the bedroom where the paramedics found her.  Keith held out an evidence bag in his hand with the business card in it.  Calum slowly took it from Keith's hand with a confused look on his face because he thought he'd remember the girl. He looked up quickly after flipping it over and seeing Ashton's name on the back.  

"Ashton, do you know her?"  Calum asked.    
Ashton was silent for a minute before nodding his head and looking at his shoes.  "I met her today in the park before work."

Calum grabbed Ashton's elbow, leading him outside of the hospital room so that they could speak above a whisper without disturbing the poor girl.

"Talk to me, Ash.  How'd you meet her?"  Calum asked, passing the security guards stood outside the room and leaning his shoulder against the wall.  Ashton kept his gaze on the floor, taking a minute to find the words to describe his interaction with Samantha today.  Calum waited patiently, having never seen his best friend act this way.  
"I went to the park for a walk, and I heard a scream.  The pain in this scream, Cal, was unlike anything I've ever heard.  When I found out where it was coming from, I saw this girl get off the bench and haul ass, leaving her stuff behind.  I went over, and picked it up, and ran after her.  I found her in the woods with her head in her hands and she was just a wreck.  Every part of her body was tiny except for her eyes.  I sat down with her and got her talking.  I stopped her when she tried to leave and saw the cuts on her arms.  Some were old, but some were fresh and had to be from the last couple of days.  I handed her my card and told her about the Sanctuary before she walked away.  Then, I came in for my shift.  I was hoping I'd see her again, but not like this,"  Ashton's voice trailed off as he looked at the girl from the hallway.  They stood in silence for a few minutes before Keith walked back up to them.

 

"We'll have round the clock security, and we won't release any information about her.  As far as anyone except the nurses are concerned, this room is empty,"  Keith said, looking at Ashton and Calum.  
"Any word on when she'll come to?" Calum asked, looking at Ashton before turning his eyes to Keith.  Ashton walked slowly to Samantha's bedside, running his thumb over the side of her hand, careful not to disturb the IV leads.  
"She's been here for a few hours, and she hasn't responded to any of our attempts to wake her up.  She was unconscious when she came to us, but we've ruled out coma and brain injury after running a few tests.  All of her vitals have come back normal and steady, so we just figure she needs the rest,"  Keith said, shrugging slightly.

Ashton kept his eyes on Samantha, watching the rise and fall of her chest as the machines beeped and whooshed.  "Why is she intubated?" he asked, without turning to face Keith.

"We checked out the bruises on her throat and saw that she was having trouble breathing.  Her esophagus was about to collapse, so we intubated her,"  Keith said softly.  "We also have her on an IV nutrient line because she's so underweight, but after her examination, we determined that she wasn't bulimic; all of the damage to her throat was from the altercation, and there's no erosions on her teeth.  We're not sure if her weight was due to the abuse or possible anorexia."

"Abuse?" Ashton said, turning to Keith, but not taking his hand from Samantha.  He knew she was broken, but he thought most of it was self-harm and possibly verbal abuse.  Then again, he hadn't seen any of her except for her face and arms.  He looked down, running his fingers on the skin by her scars from cuts long since healed.  He took his hand back quickly as he realized he hardly knew this girl and felt that he was invading her privacy.  He put his hands in his pockets and walked out to join Calum and Keith.

"We viewed some x-rays and were able to determine that she's had several minor fractures that were a few years old.  It doesn't help that she has malnutrition, causing her bones to be a bit more frail than an average girl her age."

Calum shook his head as he crossed his arms and looked back at the girl, still sleeping in the hospital bed.

Ashton felt his cheeks heat up, feeling strangely protective over the girl he'd only met earlier that day.  "Do you think there will be any permanent physical damage?" Ashton felt himself asking aloud.

"We don't think so.  Initially, our biggest worries, other than her not waking up yet, were the skull fractures and the damage done to her throat.  We'll keep her for a few days for observation, but physically, she should make a full recovery.  The skull fractures are only hairline cracks, and her larynx and esophagus seem to be bruised, but fully intact. We'll know more in a few days."  Keith said, sounding hopeful.  "If you'll excuse me, I have to make my rounds.  It was nice meeting you,"  he said before nodding his head and walking out of the room, shutting the curtain behind him.

Calum and Ashton looked at Samantha for a moment before turning their gaze to each other. "This is going to be a tough one,"  Calum said with a slight frown.

Ashton didn't know what to say.  He wasn't sure what he was feeling.  He knew he was feeling anger and pity because of what happened to Samantha.  He was aggravated with himself because he felt that this may not have happened if he had done a better job of convincing Samantha to come with him to the Sanctuary earlier today.  He felt sadness, not only on behalf of Samantha, but also for Skyler.  

 

Skyler was working her way to being herself again, and being a success story.  She was someone who was working her way through to the other side, overcoming abuse caused to her by other people, as well as herself.  And, finally, he felt fear.  Fear that Samantha would end up in the same boat as Skyler.  It seemed that they have a long list of similarities, and Ashton knew that he would have to sit and think about where things may have gone wrong for Skyler to see where he can improve his actions to help Samantha.  In the end, all he knew was how much he wanted to help Samantha--if only he knew why.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think!


	8. Have you no idea that you're in deep?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Samantha, my name is Ashton. You're in the hospital on the north side of town. You're a little banged up, but you're okay," Ashton said, gently squeezing Samantha's hand, which had already been in his for a few hours now. "I'm going to go get a nurse to let them know you're awake," he said, excitedly getting up from his chair and heading to the hallway to get a nurse, stopping to look back at Samantha just before crossing the threshold.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Title taken from Arctic Monkeys - Do I wanna know?*

                        

 

 

 

 

Ashton spent the next two days by Samantha's bedside, waiting for her to wake up.  After the first few hours of sitting in the chair next to her, watching her intently as he waited for her to wake up, he realized that Samantha would do so on her own time.  He sat back and messed about on his phone for a bit before stretching out in the chair and taking a nap.  He awoke at every sound, making sure to pay attention and asking questions when the nurses made their rounds to check on the small girl, still hooked up to the various machines and bags of fluid.  He considered it a small victory when they removed the tube from her throat after making sure she was able to breathe on her own.  One nurse let Ashton know that Samantha was nearly 20 pounds underweight, and that she had never seen a case quite like Samantha's.

On the third day, Ashton felt movement in his hand as he awoke from a mid-day nap.  He slowly opened his eyes to see Samantha, wide-eyed and turning painfully to see how many machines she was hooked up to after realizing she had just woken up in the hospital.  Ashton felt himself smile before realizing how confused the poor girl must be.

"Samantha, my name is Ashton.  You're in the hospital on the north side of town.  You're a little banged up, but you're okay,"  Ashton said, gently squeezing Samantha's hand, which had already been in his for a few hours now.  "I'm going to go get a nurse to let them know you're awake,"  he said, excitedly getting up from his chair and heading to the hallway to get a nurse, stopping to look back at Samantha just before crossing the threshold.

  
_What the hell happened?_ Samantha thought as she tried to sit up in the bed.  She winced as a mixture of soreness and stiffness flooded her body, leaving her to wonder just how long she had been here.  She tried to think back to the last thing she remembered before waking up.  With her mind hazy, she decided it was best to start at the beginning of the day and work her way to the details she wasn't as sure of.

Samantha remembered waking up in the morning, and turning on the TV to have something to listen to while she did dishes.  Despite not having eaten in four days, the dish pile had grown pretty high due to Jason's friends coming over and raiding their kitchen.  Samantha remembered Jason waking up and getting ready for work, grumbling and shuffling around until Samantha dropped a pan too hard in the sink, causing the loud noise to incite the anger of the already agitated man.  Jason grabbed Samantha's arm, slinging her into the kitchen counter before screaming about how useless she was.  All she could do was apologize as she kept her eyes on the floor.  Jason didn't stop screaming, even after he had walked out of the front door, slamming it behind him, which caused the walls to shake.  

Several pictures had fallen off of the wall, but only one had broken.  Samantha remembered hesitating before mumbling "fuck it" as she slid the glass from the picture frame across her wrist.  She remembered not wanting to stop at that all too familiar bliss of finally being in control of her own pain for the first time in a long time.

Samantha remembered the excitement of drawing and going to the park. She also remembered damn near losing her mind and running until she couldn't run anymore.  Then, Samantha remembered the eyes of the man who found her; eyes filled with concern as he sat her stuff on the ground and began talking to her.  The card he had given her.

"Oh, god," she whispered with a hoarse voice, pinching the bridge of her nose.  That's who the man at her bedside was—the man from the park.  He said he worked for somewhere that helped with domestic violence victims. _Oh_ , she thought as she remembered the fight she had with Jason when she got home from the park.  

 

Suddenly, Samantha was curled up in a ball in her hospital bed, with her knees brought up to her shoulders, ignoring the pain that rocked her body as her next memories came in flashes that made her recoil at the vivid memories of the blows of Jason's fists landing anywhere they could on Samantha's already bony body.

"Samantha.  Samantha!  You're safe!"  Ashton said, wrapping his arms around her shaking body.  Samantha let out a scream at the contact, sure that Jason had come back to finish the job as she opened her eyes, and realized she was still in the hospital, alone--except for the man from the park.

Her eyes found Ashton, who had his left hand on Samantha's shoulder, the other hand cupping the side of her face.  
"Samantha,"  Ashton whispered.  "You're safe."

Doctors and nurses had run in at the sound of the scream.  They pushed Ashton out of the way to examine Samantha.  She had ripped out her IV's in her panic and was now bleeding at their openings.  Ashton felt helpless.  He didn't know what to do to help the broken girl.  He ran a hand through his hair, turning out of the room and going into the hallway.  There was nothing he could do while the doctors and nurses went to work on the poor girl.  Ashton got out his phone and texted Calum to let him know that Samantha had woken up, but was in rough shape.

 

"Ow, bitch!  Could you not?"  Ashton heard a loud growl from one of the other rooms.  He walked down the hallway, finding the owner of the voice by the nurses station,  apparently getting an eye wound looked at by one of the nurses.  

Ashton pressed send on his text to Calum as he looked up, taking the details of the face of the man in front of him.   _Son of a bitch just can't stay_ _away_ , Ashton thought as he started to see red, putting together the details of the man with the sketch he saw of Samantha's in the park after she dropped her stuff and ran.   Ashton hadn't even realized that he was moving until he blinked and saw that he had his hand around the man's throat, holding him up against the wall behind him.

 "What the fuck are you doing here?" Ashton growled through his teeth.  
"What the--"the man said, causing Ashton to grip harder.  "Let go!" the man strained.  
"Sir. Sir!  Let go of him!" a nurse said as Ashton felt the hands of three nurses pushing him away.  He finally released his grip.  
"I said, what the fuck are you doing here?" Ashton said, still being held back by the two male nurses.  
"Some crazy bitch tried to claw my eyes out and now they're infected!  What's it to you?"   
"Sir, they're infected because you waited so long to get them looked at,"  a nurse chimed in.  
"About three days." A familiar voice said next to Ashton.

 

Keith, the doctor, walked up, stopping at Ashton's side.  He had finally put two and two together after getting over the confusion of seeing Ashton angry, having left Samantha's bedside for the first time during visitors hours since the morning after Samantha was admitted to the hospital.  
"Call security," Keith said simply.

"Yeah, let them know I want to press charges against this lunatic." Jason said, angrily pointing at Ashton as he righted himself.  
"What's the matter?  Don't like getting slapped around?" Ashton said darkly, taking a threatening step towards the man.  
Keith tightly gripped Ashton's arm.  "Don't worry, sir.  I'm sure charges will be pressed," he said with a smirk.  "Come on, I've gotta keep an eye on you,"  Keith said, tugging at Ashton's arm until he willfully walked away.  "You two, stay with him," he called over his shoulder at two male nurses, jerking his chin head towards Jason.  
Jason crossed his arms with a smug look on his face.  The anger in Ashton only flared as different ways to remove that look from the man's face flashed in his mind.

 

"Hey, Ash!" Calum called, jogging down the hallway to catch up with them.  His step faltered when he saw Keith's grip on Ashton's arm.  They stopped a few feet past Samantha's door.  Ashton paused to look into the room, seeing various medical professionals tending to Samantha.  His heart sank further in his chest when he saw her looking at the ceiling with tears streaming down her face.

 "Ashton, what's going on?  I've never seen you like that!"  Calum said, his eyebrows furrowed.  

Ashton crossed his arms and he stared at the ground.  He's not proud of what he did, and he doesn't understand what came over him in that moment.  He let out a groan and rubbed his face with his hands.

"That's him, isn't it?"  Keith said quietly.   
Ashton nodded, saying nothing, and not looking up to meet the eyes of the doctor or his best friend.  
"Who, Ashton?  Who is that?" Calum said.   
Ashton had taken a few days off work, but Calum thought that it was because of everything that happened with Skyler.  He didn't know that Ashton hadn't really left Samantha's side, except to go back to his apartment after visiting hours ended because he wasn't family.  

He didn't sleep much at home.  He would sit on the couch with a random show on TV that he wouldn't watch and food in his lap that he wouldn't eat.  Eventually, he would just give up and sit in the chair by his window, staring blankly at the sky until the sun would rise again, and it was time to go back to Samantha. He wasn't sure why he was doing this--guilt, maybe?  His brain hadn't quite figured it out yet.

"That is the guy who put Samantha in here,"  Ashton said, meeting Calum's eyes, which widened with realization.  
"Why is he here?  Does he know she's here?  Did he try something?  Are you okay?" Calum rushed out, unsure of what to do.  
"Infected eye injury, probably from the fight; I don't think he knows, so no; and I'm fine, just...on edge," Ashton answered.  
"You look like you haven't slept in days," Keith commented, noticing the growing bags under Ashton's eyes.  
"Wait...is this where you've been?  Is she why you've missed work?" Calum asked, even more concerned now.

Ashton just looked at Calum blankly, not knowing what his reaction would be if he actually admitted to barely leaving the girl's bedside.  After a beat, Calum turned to Keith, who nodded, with a closed hand under his chin.  
"Jesus, Ashton," Calum said, rubbing his face with both hands.  "I thought it was because of everything that happened with Skyler," he said looking at Ashton, who was looking at the floor once again.  "Has she made any progress?"  
"She woke up today.  She freaked and ripped out her IVs.  I left the room and heard Princess--" Ashton motioned with his thumb over his shoulder, even though Jason couldn't be seen from where they were standing "--having a hissy fit over his infected eye wound from 'some crazy bitch', and then my hand was on his throat, and here we are," Ashton finished filling Calum in on the days' events.

Keith looked up at the police officers walking down the hall and stopping at the nurses' station.   
"Don't worry, I've got them," Keith said, jogging over to meet them.

Calum and Ashton stared at each other for a moment longer before stepping over to the doorway of Samantha's room.  One nurse had a clipboard with Samantha's charts on it, taking notes.  Another nurse was finishing up with the tubing on one of the IVs, having taken the time to change Samantha's bandages while she was there.  The first nurse said something softly to Samantha before putting the clipboard on the hook at the end of the bed and walking out of the room.  
"I've got it," Calum said, following the nurse for an update.

Ashton hesitated, leaning against the doorframe with his arms crossed over his chest.  Samantha visibly tensed when she realized there was a figure in her doorway, making him feel awful for startling her.

"Hey, Samantha," Ashton said, lowering his hands, keeping them visible and non-threatening as he slowly stepped into the room. "How are you feeling?"  

Samantha took a minute to answer as she studied Ashton, his appearance, his actions.  She took in the bags under his eyes; she didn't remember those being there when she first met him.  She took in the warmth of his eyes, gentle and caring, even exhausted and in the bleak light of her hospital room.  His honey blond hair lays in waves on his head, and his broad shoulders began the frame of his tall, muscular body.

 "Sore," Samantha finally said, wincing as her voice left her throat.  She looked down at her hands lazily folded in her lap, her eyes tracing the purple and yellow bruises visible at the top of the bandage on her left arm.  "How long have I been here?" she whispered without looking up.  
"Three days," Ashton said simply, a frown pulling at the corner of his mouth.  After a moment of silence, Ashton looked over his shoulder as Calum came into the room, passing the security guards that have reappeared at the doorway, facing the hallway.  "What do you remember?"

Samantha tightly shut her eyes, ignoring the screaming pain of her body as she pulled her knees to her chest, putting the palms of her hands to her forehead, careful not to disturb her IVs this time.  

 "Everything," was all she was able to choke out.

 "We haven't been able to reach your family since you were admitted.  Is there anyone you would like us to call?" Calum said.  
Samantha thought for a moment.  Either her family changed their numbers, or they were refusing to answer.  That is a situation she'd have to deal with at another time.  She shook her head to answer the man's question when Jason's face flashed before her eyes.  
"Where is he?" Samantha said, her voice urgent.

Before either man could answer, they heard a clatter of metal objects hitting the tile floor of the hospital as shouts filled the air.

"Get off me!"

Calum and Ashton looked at each other briefly before Calum ran out into the hallway, Ashton shutting the door behind him.

"No. No!" Samantha screamed, wrapping her arms around her head, her knees still pulled to her chest.  

Without thinking, Ashton wrapped his arms around Samantha's frail body, pulling her head to his chest.

"Samantha, he's not here for you," Ashton said quietly, rubbing circles in her back.  "He doesn’t know you're here."  
"He's here! He's here.  He's going to kill me," Samantha said, rocking back and forth, breathing rapidly.  
"Samantha," Ashton said, gently prying her hands away from her head, cupping her cheeks.  "Samantha, listen to me," he begged for her eyes to meet his.  She finally tried to calm her breathing, finding Ashton's eyes.  "He doesn't know you're here.  He's here because you scratched his face in the attack and it's infected.  He doesn't know you're here.  No one does, okay?"  Ashton said, searching Samantha's eyes for any recognition of his words.   Samantha nodded finally, her eyes not leaving Ashton's.

"The only reason Calum and I are here is because the hospital called us when the police found the card I gave you in your apartment after the attack.  They said your attack was a case for the Sanctuary because the neighbor that found you pulled your boyfriend off of you.  The police found the card on the bed.  He does not know you're here.  You're safe,"  Ashton pressed her head to his chest again, his hand in her hair.  "You're safe."

Ashton felt Samantha wrap her arms around his waist and he began rubbing her back again, feeling her bones poking out of her skin as her breathing slowed to a steady pace.  He frowned, wondering the extent of the abuse she endured.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think!


	9. Report

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "So," Calum said simply.  
>  "So?" Ashton said, raising his eyebrow.  
>  "So... What the hell was that? You've known this girl all of three days—the majority of which she was unconscious, by the way—and you're already attached at the hip? What do you even know about her, Ashton? What are you doing?" Calum said, straining to keep his voice down as he demanded answers.

                                               

 

 

There was a knock on the door, causing Samantha to jump, wrapping her arms tighter around Ashton's waist.  
"It's Calum.  Can I come in?" the voice said, muffled by the large door.  
"Come in," Ashton said, just loud enough to be heard.  Calum slowly opened the door, poking his head in before sliding the rest of his body through the narrow opening.  
"Now that you're awake, the police want to take your statement about the attack,"  said Calum, as his eyes switched between Ashton's and Samantha's, not fully understanding the scene in front of him.  

Ashton took a step back, putting his hands on Samantha's shoulders.  
"They just want to ask you a few questions to hear your side of the attack.  Calum and I will be right outside the door, okay?" Ashton said, softly squeezing her shoulders.  
Samantha hesitated before nodding and adjusting herself into the middle of the hospital bed.  Ashton snuck one last look at her before stepping away to exit the room and let the police in for their interview, Calum following him.

Once in the hallway, Ashton leaned his shoulder against the wall, putting his hands in his pockets.  
"So," Calum said simply.  
"So?" Ashton said, raising his eyebrow.  
"So... What the hell was that?  You've known this girl all of three days—the majority of which she was unconscious, by the way—and you're already attached at the hip?  What do you even know about her, Ashton?  What are you doing?" Calum said, straining to keep his voice down as he demanded answers.

"I don't know, Cal," Ashton said, rubbing his face with his hands before sliding his back down the wall until he was in a crouching position.  "I don't know."  
"It's like you're obsessed or something, Ash.  Is it guilt over what happened with Skyler?  Is it because of Lauren?" Calum asked softly.  
"Don't even go there.  Don't bring her into this, Calum,"  Ashton said, his face stern as he looked up at his best friend.  

Ashton's thoughts turned to memories of a blue-eyed girl as sunshine peeked through her blonde hair while she ran, laughing as Ashton chased her through the field of flowers.  

His next thoughts were of him breaking down the bedroom door while music blasted, only to find his sister hanging from her ceiling fan.

"I'm sorry, Ash," Calum said, his voice barely above a whisper.  
They sat in silence for a moment, both staring at the floor while the noises of the hospital swirled around them.  
"It's okay.  I just feel—I don't know—drawn to her.  Like I'm compelled to save her, or something," Ashton looked up at Calum, who simply nodded, understanding when certain feelings or events just couldn't be explained.  The human brain was a simple, yet complex thing.  "Maybe you're right.  Maybe I'm trying to make up for where I went wrong with Lauren, but all I know is that I have to help her.  I have to save her, Cal,"  the two men looked up at each other for a moment, neither of them speaking.

Calum offered his hand, pulling Ashton to his feet.  "I'm going to call Mr. Vincent.  I'll see if we can get a bed for her for a while.  Maybe try getting in touch with her family again," he said, walking away.

"Thank you!" Ashton called after him.  Calum waved his hand without turning around.

 

The door to Samantha's room opened, and one of the police officers stepped out, shutting the door behind him. The officer looked at Ashton, then down at his clipboard.   
"Are you Ashton Irwin?" he said, looking up at Ashton.  
"Yes, sir," Ashton said, nodding.  
"My name is Officer Costello.  Were you the young man that had the altercation with--" he paused to lift a page on his clipboard, searching for the name-- "Jason Renfield earlier today?"

  
_Shit_ , Ashton thought.   
"Yes, sir,"  he said, solemnly nodding his head.  
"Don't worry, son.  We're not pressing charges.  You definitely helped the investigation by identifying him and notifying us of his whereabouts.  How that information came to be isn't an issue.  Keeping her safe may be, though.  We haven't told Mr. Renfield any details about Ms. Barron yet, but he will have to be made aware of the extent of her injuries," the officer said, motioning toward Samantha's room.

_Samantha Barron_ , Ashton burned the name into his mind.

"My colleague is making arrangements for Samantha to have a place to stay as we speak.  We work for Angel's Sanctuary downtown."  
"I'm familiar with the organization,"  Officer Costello stated.  "Have you made any attempts at contacting her family?"  
"Yes, sir, but we haven't heard anything back yet.  The relationship is obviously not intact.  She's been here for three days with no phone calls or visitors,"  Ashton said, bitterly as he slipped his back into his front pockets.  
"When will you have word back on a place for her to be released, Mr. Irwin?"  the officer said, adjusting his clipboard.  
"Hopefully by the end of the business day.  Do you have a card with your number?"  Ashton asked.  The officer nodded, removing a business card from his left breast pocket.  "Thank you, sir.  Will she be able to get a police escort back to her apartment to get her things?"  
"Of course.  Just call the number on the card when she's been released, and I'll arrange for an officer to meet you there,"  Officer Costello said, making a notation on his clipboard.  
"Thank you.  And thank you, for not pressing charges.  I don't know what came over me,"  Ashton said, hanging his head.  He feels ashamed because he's never been a violent person, but he also feels as if he was justified, given the situation.  
"Hey, the asshole deserves worse than what he got.  Who knows the extent of the shit he put that poor girl through.  We're going to do our best to nail him to the wall,"  the officer said darkly, his eyes narrowing.

The door opened again, a female officer stepping out, putting the shutter back on her camera.  
"Got some updated pictures.  Dr. Sandberg already said he'll release a copy of her medical records after we issue the subpoena, per HIPPA laws,"  the officer informed her partner.  She turned and looked at Ashton before shifting her camera and sticking out her right hand.  "Sorry, I'm Officer McClane."

Ashton reached out and shook her hand.  "Ashton Irwin.  Nice to meet you."   
"Likewise," she smiled.  "Well, are you ready to get Mr. Renfield and head to the precinct, Costello?" Officer McClane said, turning to face her partner.  
"Yeah, let's get this asshole,"  Officer Costello smirked, rubbing his hands together as they turned and walked down the hallway to join the security guards that were babysitting Jason.

Ashton laughed, shaking his head as he turned the door handle and stepped into Samantha's room.  He saw Samantha flinch at the movement, making him frown slightly.   
"Hey, how are you feeling?" he said, crossing his arms and taking a step towards the hospital bed.  
"Tired," Samantha said, yawning as she pulled herself into a sitting position on the bed.  
"Tired?" Ashton chuckled, "You've been asleep for three days!"  
Samantha hung her head, thinking about how much had happened in what felt like such a short amount of time. _Where do I go from here?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think!


	10. Thin line

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ashton watched the scene in front of him intently, knowing the fight she must be having with herself. He only hoped that, with the help of the other counselors at the Sanctuary, he'd be able to nurse her back to health over time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a reminder that I do not own any pictures used!

 

 

 

 

                             

 

 

 

Ashton felt his phone vibrate. He pulled the phone from his pocket to reveal a text message from Calum.  
**Calum:  Got her a room ready for when we break her out tomorrow!  
** Ashton smiled.   
**Ashton:  Thanks, man!**

"So, they are going to release you tomorrow,"  Ashton said, turning his attention back to Samantha.  
She felt her chest tighten and her eyes widen.  "Where am I going to go?  I can't go back there."

Ashton closed the distance with two large steps, crouching beside Samantha.  
"Hey, don't worry about that.  Calum and I have room for you at the Sanctuary.  You'll be safe there,"  he said, gently rubbing the back of her hand, being careful not to disturb her IVs.  
"Really?"  Samantha said, looking up with hope in her eyes.  
"Absolutely, and you can stay as long as you need.  We'll get ahold of Officer Costello and arrange to get your belongings from your apartment tomorrow."

Before Samantha could respond, there was a knock on the door.  Ashton stood up, walking towards the door.  He looked at Samantha before asking "Who is it?" through the door.  
"Dinner time!" a nurse called from the other side of the door.

Ashton slowly turned the doorknob, easing the door open.  An older woman with gray hair stood in the hallway with a  tray of food that she pulled from a food cart.  
"It's okay," Ashton whispered, looking at Samantha.  "it's just dinner."

The nurse walked in, pulling over a wheeled table that sits over the bed. "I'll be by later to get your dishes," She said, walking out of the room and pushing the cart down the hallway.  Samantha looked down at the food in front of her.  She hadn't eaten in a week and she wasn't too sure how to get out of that habit.  
Jason would often make comments about her eating; saying she was a fat cow, or how she'd end up as ugly as her mother if she kept eating those chips.  Between his jabs and her slipping deeper into depression, it was common for her to go days without eating and not notice.   
She squeezed her eyes shut, shaking the thoughts of Jason out of her head.  She didn't belong to him anymore.  This attack was the last straw, and it was there, in that hospital bed, that she vowed to herself that she would never let him, or any other man, control her body, or her life, ever again.  
_Fuck you_ , she thought, sitting up in the bed and grabbing her fork to pick at the food in front of her.  She had never been fond of meatloaf, but she was determined to eat it today.

Ashton watched the scene in front of him intently, knowing the fight she must be having with herself.  He only hoped that, with the help of the other counselors at the Sanctuary, he'd be able to nurse her back to health over time.

"Are you going to sit down, or are you going to just stare me down the whole time?"  a voice broke through his thoughts.  He looked up to see Samantha sitting cross-legged on the bed with a smirk on her face.  
"Only if you're okay with it,"  Ashton said, mentally smiling at how much Samantha has improved since finding out Jason was being arrested, she didn't have to be with him anymore, and she'd have a place to go tomorrow where she'd be safe.  
"Sure," Samantha said, motioning towards the chair with her left hand while using her right hand to take a bite of her dinner.  
Ashton walked slowly to the chair before taking a seat, leaning back and crossing his arms.  
"So," Samantha said, finishing her bite, "one of the nurses may have let it slip that you have become quite acquainted with that chair over the last few days," she said, not looking up from her dinner.

Ashton's eyes widened and his breath caught in his throat.   _Shit.  Now she's going to think I'm some kind of creep who's obsessed with her or something._  
"Um," he said, his mind racing, trying to figure out the best way to explain how he felt the need to spend every waking moment at her bedside.  He uncrossed his arms, laced his fingers, and looked down at his hands nervously.  
"Is it because of what happened at the park?" Samantha said softly.  
Ashton nodded without looking up from his hands.  They both sat in silence for several moments without looking at each other.  
"I'm sorry," Samantha said quietly.  
Ashton furrowed his eyebrows, looking at Samantha who had her eyes focused on her hands in her lap.  
"For what?" he said, confused.  
"I'm sorry you saw everything," she said.  
Ashton chuckled.  "Are you really apologizing for reacting like that after the shit you've been through?"  Samantha shrugged, but said nothing.  Ashton slid down in his chair, resting his head on the back of it and looking up at the ceiling.  "He fucked with your head pretty bad, huh?"  Ashton said without moving.  He felt the anger rise up in his chest as the memories of choking Jason in the hallway flashed into his mind.

Samantha felt her cheeks heat up, embarrassed that he had seen everything over the last few days, and even more that he had a pretty good idea of everything that was going on in her head. But did he?   _He barely knows me._

All she ever wanted was to be understood and Ashton had done more than to try and figure her out in the few short days since he was made aware of her existence than nearly everyone else who had played a major role in her life.

Ashton looked up at Samantha, who was wringing her hands, lost in her head.  His heart frowned.  
"I'm sorry,"  Ashton said, finally.  
Samantha looked up quickly, meeting Ashton's eyes with her own as they filled with confusion and worry.  
"For what?"   
"My comments," he said, "I just met you.  I only know the bits of your life that I've seen over the last few days, and I have no right to make any judgments, let alone making comments, about your life,"  he said, looking down at his hands, his voice growing cold.  He stood up from his chair.  "Good night, Samantha," he turned, taking a few steps towards the door.  
"Wait!" Samantha said, feeling her breath quicken at the thought of being alone.  "Please don’t go,"  she said, her voice small.   
Ashton stilled, hearing the pain in her voice.  He turned to see Samantha sitting in the bed with her knees pulled to her chest and her hands covering her eyes.  He walked over to the chair, standing behind it with his hands on the arms.

He sighed, battling with himself.  He knows she doesn't need to be alone, but he also knows he's already gotten way closer than professionally necessary.  He's possibly risking his career, everything he's worked so hard to achieve in the wake of the death of his sister.  He owes it to her to save each and every life he possibly can.  
Ashton walked around the chair, pulling it closer and putting his hand on Samantha's elbow as he sat down.  Samantha slowly pulled her hands away from her eyes, wrapping her arms around her knees and locking onto Ashton's eyes.  
"I-I'm sorry.  It's just been so long—I haven't actually spoken to anyone but him in a long time," she paused, "There is no speaking to him.  There's only listening to the shit that rambles out of his mouth," she closed her eyes, balling her hands into fists.

"Hey," Ashton rubbed Samantha's elbow with the pad of his thumb as he leaned his head forward, silently begging her to open her eyes.  "I'm here.  Whether you want to have a conversation, or sit in silence, or speak every word that comes into your mind.  I will sit here and listen for as long as you allow me to.  I am here for anything you need, regardless of how silly you may think it is,"  Samantha opened her eyes, searching Ashton's face for any sign of falseness.  
"Really?" she asked, barely audible.  
"Scout's honor," Ashton said, smiling as he raised his right hand and used his thumb to hold down his pinky finger.

 

Samantha smiled as they stared into each other's eyes in silence for a moment, only to be interrupted by a knock at the door.  
Ashton stood up quickly, using his body to block Samantha's as he faced the door.  
With her right arm still wrapped around her knees, Samantha's left hand grabbed Ashton's right forearm, not wanting him to leave her side.

"Who is it?" Ashton asked, his deep voice having an edge to it.  
"Dr. Sandberg and Nurse Rachel.  Can we come in?"  
"Come in,"  Ashton said, relieved.  Ashton used his left hand to move the chair out of the way as Keith and the nurse came into the room with soft smiles.  
"How are you doing, Samantha?" Keith asked, watching her as he picked up her chart to update her information.  The nurse took the dinner tray to a cart in the hallway before walking around the room, restocking various medical supplies in the room and bathroom.  
"I'm okay.  Definitely better than I have been in a while, just nervous,"  Samantha replied, her hand still wrapped around Ashton's forearm.  Keith noticed this contact, but chose not to comment on it.  
"That's great.  I have some good news for you.  You are being released tomorrow morning.  My understanding is that there's a space reserved for you at the Angel's Sanctuary?" Keith asked, looking at Ashton, who nodded in confirmation.  "Good.  As far as we can see, you seem to be healing nicely.  Your bruises are at their end-stages, most of your cuts should heal easily, your skull fractures are healing, and will continue to do so over the next few weeks.  Just do anything you can to avoid hitting the back of your head, even the slightest bit.  After your shower tonight, you'll get fresh bandages on your wrists, just to prevent infection, and you should be fine.  You'll be asked to schedule a follow-up appointment when you sign your discharge paperwork tomorrow, just to check back in a week to make sure everything is still healing nicely,"  Keith explained, crossing his arms over his chest after returning the clipboard with Samantha's charts to its rightful place.  
"Thank you, sir, for everything.  I really appreciate your team, and everything y'all have done," Samantha said quietly.  She never thought her life would get to this point.  
"No problem; it's what we do.  There's fresh clothes in the bathroom.  The nurses will be making their rounds throughout the night.  I am off tomorrow, so I will see you for your follow-up appointment next week,"  Keith said with a wave of his hand as he exited the room.  
Samantha realized her hand was still on Ashton's arm after the doctor left.  
She pulled it away quickly, feeling embarrassed.  She was glad the nurse removed her IVs while the doctor was talking to them because she could move about freely now, without the fear of yanking them out.  She turned to the opposite side of the bed from where Ashton was standing and attempted to get out of the bed.  She sucked a breath in through her teeth as the pain of her ribs hit her, her body still sore from the attack.

Ashton rushed around the bed to help her up, taking her hand in his and gently putting a hand on the small of her back to steady her.  They stood there for a moment as Samantha took a few deep breaths.   
"Are you okay?" Ashton whispered, his eyes searching her face for the truth as she nodded too quickly.  
"What do you want me to do?"  Ashton asked softly.  He felt useless while she stood there in pain.  He knew her body was on the mend, but she was still in pain and there was nothing he could do to cure her of it.  He just wanted to wrap his arms around her fragile body and wish the pain away, but he knew he couldn't do that.  
"Walk me to the bathroom?"  Samantha asked, her eyes looking into his, pleading.   
"Whatever you need," he stepped to the side so she could turn to face the bathroom.  He switched his hand from her right to her left, keeping his left hand on her back as they walked slowly to the bathroom.

Once inside, Samantha smiled softly, silently thanking the nurse for leaving a t-shirt and sweat pants instead of a hospital gown.  Ashton gently leaned Samantha against the counter, moving quickly to start the shower, nervous about getting the water to the right temperature to suit the girl.  Samantha watched his movements from across the bathroom, curious as to why he cared enough to stay with her for the last few days, let alone run her bathwater.  
She felt so comfortable with him, but a voice in the back of her head was shouting warnings not to let him get too close.  She may have lucked out this time, surviving Jason's attack.  Maybe it could turn out worse if she were to put too much trust into Ashton.   _He works as a counselor at a domestic violence clinic—he can't be too bad_ , Samantha countered the voice in her head.  
She covered her face with her hands, trying to steady her ragged breaths to calm herself.  Feeling Ashton's eyes on her, she ran her hands through her hair, immediately feeling dirty and ready for the shower.  She's sure the nurses have wiped her down after being unconscious for three days in the hospital, but that's nothing compared to a nice, hot shower.  
She looked to the counter, her eyes landing on a comb next to the clean change of clothes by the sink.  She reached for it, her eyes catching a glimpse of the inside of her wrist.  The nurse had removed all of her bandages so she could shower, and this was the first she's seen of the self-inflicted wounds since the morning of the attack.  Samantha quickly pulled her arms back, looking to see if Ashton had seen them. Thankfully, his attention was still on the running water.  He turned to her, smiling as he wiped his hand off on a towel to dry it.

"Should be okay now."  Ashton said, sticking his hands in his front pockets and stepping towards Samantha.  They studied each other for a moment, almost as if they were waiting to see what the other would do.  "Well, I'll leave you to it.  Calum and I will be back tomorrow to pick you up when they discharge you," he said, turning on his heel to walk out of the room.  
"Ash, wait."  Samantha said, sticking her hand out to catch his arm, but deciding to pull back at the last second.  She was growing nervous again at the thought of being alone.  It wasn't so much the 'being alone' part that made her nervous -- it was more that she was afraid of what her mind would do when no one else was around.

Ashton stopped on a dime, turning to face her with his hand still in his pockets and his eyebrows raised.  His expression softened when he saw how scared she looked; how desperate her eyes were.  
"What's the matter, Sam?" he said in a whisper.  His hand twitched as if it wanted to reach towards her by instinct.  Ashton chided himself.  His thoughts were yelling reminders that she was not his—she's a patient who has been through a rough time.   _Keep it professional, Irwin_.  His eyes searched hers, almost like he was trying to hear the battle her thoughts were waging inside her head.

"Would you stay?"  Samantha said, finally.  "Please?  At least until I fall asleep?" she pleaded.   
Ashton could hear the Devil on his shoulder, cackling evilly as he rubbed his hands together. The Angel on his other shoulder had his arms crossed, tapping his foot on Ashton's shoulder as he shook his head at him.

Ashton chose to ignore them both.

"Yeah, of course.  Whatever you need,"  he said, the corner of his mouth pulling into a smile.   
Samantha felt a weight fall off of her shoulders now that she wouldn't be alone for the rest of the night.  She pulled her wrists tighter to her chest.  "Thanks."  
"No problem,"  Ashton said.  
"Go ahead and hop in the shower.  I'll find us something to watch on TV, and call Officer Costello to arrange to pick up your things tomorrow," he said, turning away to head out of the bathroom.  He paused in the doorway to look at her, sending her a reassuring smile as he closed the door behind him.

_Shit_ , Samantha thought as she covered her face with her hands.   _Get_ _it together, Sam.  One day at a time._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think!


	11. Moving On

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> His eyes bore into hers as if they were trying to reach into her soul and pull her through the darkness. Samantha's eyes welled up with tears because she had never had someone who cared enough to notice that her 'quirks' were her cries for help, her cries for her pain to end. No one had ever tried to see through the façade she painted to keep people out and actually try to help her, to speak to her----to listen. Ashton looked at her with so many emotions at once, his hand reaching up to touch her cheek. Samantha whimpered, turning her face into his palm, tears trickling down her cheeks. It broke Ashton's heart, and he was forced to fight himself and the want to kiss the tears from her cheeks and wrap her in his arms. He had to remind himself over and over in his head that she was not his. She was someone who needed help, the love she needed would come in due time.

 

 

 

 

                                             

 

 

Taking a deep breath to steady herself, she began undressing, purposefully avoiding looking at the mirror.  She stuck her hand into the running water of the shower to feel the temperature.  It was warm, but not so hot that it would be scalding.  Samantha stepped into the shower, letting the water run over her aching muscles and bones, over her face and hair.  

After standing under the stream for a moment, she rubbed her face to clear the water and look down at her body.  She looked at the bruises littering her arms, torso, and legs in various stages of healing.  She looked down at her wrists, seeing the marks, both old and new. _Never again_ , she vowed to herself as she let the water run over them.  

Samantha knew she had to start finding different ways to cope with things in life.  Now that she was going to be staying at the Angel's Sanctuary, she had the opportunity to receive real therapy and learn new coping methods that didn't involve self-harm.  She felt some comfort in the fact that she would never be forced to do anything that Jason wanted her to do again; she didn't belong to him anymore. _I belong to me_ , Samantha crossed her arms to hid her wrists from herself, only to pull away at the shock of feeling her bones collide.  

She ran her hands mover her ribs and down to her hips, her bones poking out of her skin in a way that even looked painful.  She knew that she had lost weight due to Jason's scrutiny, but she never realized just how much she had lost.

Now that she felt fully disgusted with how far she had let herself go, she decided to quickly wash her hair and body before drying off and beginning to get dressed.  Continuing to avoid the mirror, she sighed and opened the door to go back into the other room, still using the towel to dry her hair.  She walked out and slowly stepped to where she was standing next to the bed, lost in her own world as she rubbed her damp hair with the towel.

Ashton was entranced in Samantha's presence.  When she entered the room, he felt as if his atmosphere had shifted, just by being in the vicinity of her.  Now that she was in something other than a hospital gown, he was able to see just how tiny she was.  Even though the nurse had set out the smallest clothes they had, the shirt still hung off of her tiny frame.  He smiled slightly at the rolled up waistband of the sweatpants as she appears to have done her best at securing them on her hips.  

His eyes seemed to glaze over as his mind flashed to images of him sitting on the couch in his living room, watching Samantha towel dry her hair wearing only his shirt as the sound of her laugh echoed through the room, focusing on something on TV.  Samantha's turned her head, and her eyes caught his, bringing him back to reality in the hospital room.  He blushed and turned back to the TV, looking without actually seeing.  He felt his blush deepened as he realized that he's already made a habit out of watching her every move.

"What are you watching?"  Samantha said, climbing into the bed and sitting on her feet as she worked through her hair with her fingers before using the comb.  
"Haven't decided yet," Ashton said after a moment.  
He turned back to face Samantha, watching her for a brief moment, smiling to himself when she would pout after hitting a tangle in her hair.  
"What are the choices?" Samantha said without breaking her attention from her hair.  
"News or baseball."  
"Baseball's kind of boring," she replied, wrinkling her nose slightly.  
Ashton laughed softly, "News it is, then."  

And so they sat, watching the news together, but completely separate.

Ashton's mind wandered, unable to focus on the mundane nightly news while Samantha forced herself to focus on the news, not wanting to allow her mind to delve back into itself.    
After what seemed like an eternity, Samantha felt herself stifling a yawn. She got up, putting the towel on the counter in the bathroom, and walking back to the bed to pull back the covers and climb into bed.  She seemed to struggle for a few moments, trying to find a comfortable position.

 

There was a knock on the door, breaking their concentration.    
Samantha shot up in bed, her eyes wide, searching around the room for a place to hide, until her eyes caught Ashton's.  Ashton rushed over to her and cupped her face with his hands.  She brought her hands up, grabbing his wrists.  
"Sam, listen to me.  You're okay.  I promise you that no one will ever hurt you again.  Okay?  I need you to understand that."

Samantha nodded quickly.  Ashton stepped away from the bed to walk towards the door, Samantha's fingers intertwined with his and she moved to stand behind him.  Shivers rolled down Ashton's spine at the contact.  It felt so natural to have her hand in his, as if they'd done this all their lives.  
He gently squeezed her hand, turning to look at her over his shoulder as they reached the door.    
"It's okay, Samantha," he whispered.  Turning to face the door, he placed his other hand on the handle.  "Who is it?" he asked.  
"Nurse Rachel, sweetie.  I've come to put some fresh bandages on,"  the nurse said through the door.  Ashton looked at Samantha and nodded with a small smile.  
"See, it's okay,"  Ashton said, opening the door to let the nurse in.

"How are you doing, sweetheart?"  Nurse Rachel asked, slightly surprised when she saw Samantha behind the door instead of in bed.  
"A little jumpy, I guess,"  Samantha let out a wry laugh.  Ashton rubbed the back of Samantha's hand with his thumb, trying to soothe her as he led her back to the bed, helping her sit down.  
"That's to be expected, I think,"  the nurse frowned.  "You'll make it through this, though.  You've got a fighting spirit; I can see it in your eyes."

                                                         

Silence filled the room while the nurse worked the fresh bandages on Samantha's wrists, which were just to prevent them from getting infected or reopening throughout the night.    
"Oh, dear," the nurse said quietly as she was almost done with the second wrist.  "I've run out of tape, would you mind holding this where it is while I go get some more?" Nurse Rachel said to Ashton.  He walked over to the bedside, gently taking Samantha's wrist in his hand, holding the bandage in place.  The nurse went to her cart to look for more tape, but ended up having to go to the supply room up the hall.  

While they waited for her, Samantha couldn't help but feel self-conscious with the nurse and now Ashton being so close to her scars and fresh wounds.  She tried her best to turn her arm over, to hide her wrist, but Ashton kept a gentle hold on it, not wanting to unravel the bandage.  His eyes bore into hers as if they were trying to reach into her soul and pull her through the darkness.  Samantha's eyes welled up with tears because she had never had someone who cared enough to notice that her 'quirks' were her cries for help, her cries for her pain to end.  No one had ever tried to see through the façade she painted to keep people out and actually try to help her, to speak to her----to listen.  Ashton looked at her with so many emotions at once, his hand reaching up to touch her cheek.  Samantha whimpered, turning her face into his palm, tears trickling down her cheeks.  It broke Ashton's heart, and he was forced to fight himself and the want to kiss the tears from her cheeks and wrap her in his arms.  He had to remind himself over and over in his head that she was not his.  She was someone who needed help, the love she needed would come in due time.

Nurse Rachel came back in, fiddling with the packaging of the medical tape.  Samantha rushed to wipe her cheeks with her free hand, not wanting the nurse to question her interaction with Ashton.

When the nurse had finished taping up Samantha's wrist, she held up her finger, looking at them both as she went back out to the hallway.  When she came back, she had two blankets in her hands that she had pulled from her cart.  She spread one out over the foot of Samantha's bed, handing the other to Ashton with a sweet smile before bidding the pair 'good night' and walking out of the room, shutting the door behind her.

Samantha turned to Ashton with a look that lingered before giving a small smile and climbing into bed.    
Ashton set his blanket in the chair and took a step towards the bathroom.  
"Looks like their letting me stay," he laughed softly.  "I'll be right back."

When the door had shut behind him, Samantha put her head in her hands.

  
_What the fuck am I doing?  He's my counselor!  He's not into me; I'm a fucking mess.  The only reason Jason keeps--KEPT me around was because of how fucking pathetic I am and because I've always done anything to make him happy.  Happy?  He's a drunk, abusive piece of_ _shit!_ _I've just been too stupid to leave because he's always given me attention and never left.  Attention?  Is that all I stayed for?  Fuck!  Why didn't I go just a little deeper with the glass this morning?  W_ _hy didn't Jason squeeze just a little harder.  All of this mess could've been avoided.  Shut up, Sam!  Focus.  Get through this first,_ she fought herself, taking a deep breath to steady herself before sliding down in the bed and trying to get comfortable.

Ashton closed the top lid to the toilet and sat down, taking his phone out of his pocket and sending a text to Calum.

**Ashton:  I need you to be with us tomorrow when we go to get Sam's stuff.|**  
**Calum:   "Sam", huh?  What the hell did I miss, Ash?**  
**Ashton:  Not the point right now, Cal!  Can you be here tomorrow morning?**  
**Calum:  Lol you've got it bad, don't you, Ashy?**  
**Calum: Yes, I'll be there lol.  Just chill tf out.  
** **Ashton:  Shut up, Calum Thomas.  Good night.  I'll see you in the morning.  
** **Calum:  'Night, lover boy!  Better hope Mr. Vincent doesn't catch wind of this shit.**

Ashton groaned, putting his head in his hands.   _What the fuck am I doing?  Get it together, Ash._

When Ashton had done about as much as he could to separate his head and his heart, he walked over to the sink, splashing water on his face.  He dried his face on a towel before taking one more deep breath and walking back out to the room.

Samantha was curled up on her side, facing Ashton's chair as she watched an As-Seen-on-TV commercial that was playing on the TV.  When Ashton walked into the room, he couldn't help but notice her slight smile when her eyes caught sight of him.

"You're gonna miss the best part," she said softly.

Ashton grinned, walking over to take his spot in the chair, draping the blanket over his lap.  They sat there with their eyes watching TV, losing track of time.  Their eyes may have been on the TV, but their sight was trained on daydreams in their minds.

Ashton was seeing Samantha in the passenger seat of his car, dancing and singing to something on the radio, her smile shining brightly and her hair blowing gently in the wind.  He was seeing her lean over to kiss him before intertwining their fingers and enjoying the ride, just being together.

Samantha watched herself sitting on her favorite bench in the park, watching Ashton and Calum kick around a soccer ball, their banter getting more childish as the day wore on.  As she watched them, laughing at the remarks, she'd have her sketchbook and charcoals in her hand.  Her hand's movements gentle and sure as she created a picture of Ashton, the sun hitting him just right to give him an ethereal look, only for the picture to match reality when he ran over to her.  He'd give her a sweaty kiss, running his thumb over her cheek before winking and running back to Calum.

At this moment, Ashton and Samantha seemed to snap back to reality together.  They looked at each other, a nervous laugh escaping their lips. 

"Get some rest.  You've got a big day ahead of you tomorrow,"  Ashton said with a small smile playing on his lips.  
"Good night, Ashton, and thank you.  For everything.  I don't know how I would've made it through this day without you,"  Samantha said, pulling the blanket up to her chin.  
"That's what I'm here for, Samantha.  Good night," Ashton said, lowering the volume on the TV and getting as comfortable in the bedside chair as he could manage.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think!


	12. Release

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for your comments and kudos!
> 
>  
> 
> Jason's dialogue from Fall Out Boy's - Grand Theft Autumn

###                                                                          

 

Samantha is startled awake by a hand covering her mouth.  She's tries to scream, but no sound escapes.  Jason has his full weight on her, a dark look in his eyes.  Samantha's eyes shoot over to the chair at her bedside--Ashton is gone.  
Jason says, "where is your boy tonight?  I hope he is a gentleman.  Maybe he won't find out what I know," as he runs his hand between Samantha's thighs, grabbing her roughly.  Samantha tries to scream again, tears flowing as she struggles against Jason's weight.  

 

Samantha is shaken awake by Ashton, his hair mussed from sleeping with his head on Samantha's bedside, her hand in his.  
"Sam!  Sammy, you're okay!  It's just a nightmare!  He's not here, Sam. Come back to me, please," his voice goes quieter with every word as he begs her to snap out of her nightmare.    
The glaze clears from Samantha's eyes, bringing her back to reality, where Ashton has Samantha's head in his hands.  "Ash!"  Samantha exclaims, wrapping her arms around Ashton's neck, thankful that he's here with her and not Jason.  
"I'm here, Sam.  You're safe, I promise," Ashton sighs in relief, his arms enveloping the shaking girl.  
They stayed that way, holding each other, for a while.  Eventually sleep was threatening to overtake Ashton again.  He could only sleep when he was near her, it seemed.    
He pulled away slightly, looking down at Samantha.  "We still have a few more hours until you can be released.  Do you want to try getting some rest?" he said.  Samantha vehemently shook her head.  "You look exhausted, Samantha.  I'm not going anywhere, and he's not going to hurt you."  
"I AM exhausted, but I don't want to sleep.  I'm terrified of my dreams, Ash.  I'm afraid he'll crawl through them," Samantha said, putting her head in her hands.  It was not an easy fear to admit.  She felt safe with Ashton, but she did not feel safe with her mind.  
"Scoot over,"  Ashton said, his hand lightly nudging Samantha's side.  She shuffled over to the opposite edge of the bed as Ashton climbed in next to her.  They laid side by side on the bed as Ashton picked up the t.v. remote and started flipping through the channels, finally settling on a show.  They sat there, watching the show, making small comments about the script or laughing at the punchline.  

Their closeness calmed Samantha until she had eventually leaned her head onto Ashton's shoulder.  He shifted so that his arm wrapped around her, her head moving to his chest.  It wasn't long until they had dozed off in each other's arms, getting the best sleep that they both had in recent memory.

 

\-------------------

 

There was a soft knock on the door before Nurse Rachel opened the door, quietly stepping into Samantha's room after seeing that Samantha and Ashton were sleeping.  
Ashton's eyes shot open and his grip tightened on Samantha.  When he saw the nurse, he willed his heart back into his chest before bidding her "good morning".

"I have breakfast here for the both of you.  By the time you finish, it'll be time to fill out the discharge paperwork," she said, setting two trays on the wheeled table by the bed.  "We'll change her bandages one more time before sending her off, and she'll be good until her follow-up appointment as long as she follows the at-home care instructions."  
"Thank you," Ashton said quietly, smiling at the nurse as she quietly shut the door behind herself.  Ashton looked down at the sleeping girl, taking in her raw beauty, her features softened by sleep.  He rubbed the pad of his thumb against Samantha's shoulder, frowning to himself when he felt the sharpness of her bones sticking out.  He hoped that the new environment of the Sanctuary would help nurse Samantha back to health.  

As if feeling his eyes on her, Samantha's eyes fluttered open, her eyes locking with Ashton's.  She smiled when she realized he was real, but that smile soon disappeared when she realized she was still in the hospital.  
 _At least I'm getting out of here soon,_ Samantha thought.  She HATES hospitals, which is a large part of the reason she had never sought help for her self-harm issues, which came long before Jason and his sadistic bullshit.

"Breakfast is here,"  Ashton said, pointing over to the trays on the table.  
"Yay, hospital breakfast," Samantha laughed softly.    
"Hey, you'll get some real food soon.  Maybe on the way to the Sanctuary after we pick up your stuff?"  Ashton said, turning slightly to face Samantha in the bed, his arm still around Samantha with his hand spread across her back.  He pushed the thought of how sad it is that his hand was large enough to touch both sides of her body at the same time to the back of his mind.

Samantha tried her best to ignore how her body started to shake at the thought of stepping foot back in the apartment that she had shared with Jason up until three days ago.  She teetered between fear and determination when she thought about how she would no longer being with Jason, be under his thumb, or be allowed to continue any of her harmful habits that had become such a normal part of her everyday life.  She was nearly positive that she could get back to a healthy weight without hearing negative comments from Jason about everything she ate and wore.  It was the cutting that she knew would not be easy to give up, but she was willing to try to work through it with time...and many do-overs.

"Hey," Ashton said softly.  "Sam?"  Samantha's eyes regained focused as she raised her eyes to look into Ashton's.  
"Hmm?"  
"Where'd you go just now?" Ashton said, tilting his head to the side, his eyes willing her to give him some insight into the lost girl.  
Samantha simply shook her head, wrapping her arms around her knees to hide her wrists from his curious eyes.  She knew by the sad look on his face that he had caught on to her intentions.  

"What's for breakfast?" Samantha said, shifting to get up and walk over to the food trays, uncomfortable under Ashton's knowing gaze.  She lifted the lid from one of the trays, "ooh, bacon!"  She grabbed a piece of crispy bacon (as crispy as hospital bacon gets, anyway), taking a bite and smiling as she turned to look at Ashton over her shoulder.  Ashton shook his head, smiling.  She was forgiven for the moment.  

Samantha handed a tray to Ashton after he settled back into his spot in the chair beside Samantha's bed.  They ate their breakfast in a tense silence as they watched t.v.  Ashton knew he'd have to keep an eye on her.  He was sure she wanted to get better, just not sure if she knew how.  

It was then that he decided he wouldn't be able to be her counselor.  As much as he wanted to keep a close eye on Samantha, he knew that he'd end up crossing a line at some point in time.  There were a handful of capable counselors at Angel's Sanctuary, so he wasn't worried about her level of care, just her level of concentration on her own care.  He sighed deeply as he looked at Samantha, whose face was focused on the t.v. and avoiding Ashton's intense gaze.

 

 

There was a soft knock on the door.

"It's Calum," the voice said before the door cracked open, a smiling face appearing.  
" 'Morning, Cal," Ashton said, returning Calum's bright smile, setting aside his thoughts for the time being.  
Samantha waved at Calum, smiling the best she could with her mouth full.  It may have only been hospital food, but if felt good to actually eat a meal again.  
"Good morning.  Ready to get the hell out of here?" Calum asked, stealing a piece of Samantha's bacon from her tray, smiling when she smacked at him.  
"Hell, yeah!  Ready to put up with my crazy ass?" Samantha said, returning Calum's smile again.  Ashton frowned at Samantha's description of herself.    
Calum picked up on his friend's mood and quickly changed the subject.  "So, Ashton told me that you're an artist.  Did he tell you that we have art therapy at the Sanctuary?"  
"No, he didn't!  Not sure how much therapy I'll get out of it; I've had artist's block for months," Samantha replied, her smile fading slightly.  
"Hey, it's okay.  Sometimes they show you a picture and ask you to recreate it with your own touch.  You'll get back in the groove of it, Sam," Ashton encouraged softly.

There was another soft knock on the door as Nurse Rachel came in with an assistant.  
"Good morning, all!  Did you enjoy your breakfast?" she said with a smile, walking over to mark the final update on Samantha's chart.  
"Yes, ma'am.  Thank you for taking care of me--of us," Samantha added, handing her tray to the nurse's outstretched hand.  
"It's my job, dear.  It's what I'm meant to do.  Now, let's change your bandages and get you set to be discharged," she smiled softly.  She worked quickly, with the help of the other nurse, to change the bandages and explain the after-care instructions.  Samantha tuned out most of the care instructions because she had been self-harming long enough to handle it on her own.    Calum and Ashton accompanied Samantha to the discharge station as she signed the paperwork and was escorted out of the hospital as standard procedure.

Samantha stopped just out of the front door.  This is the first time she'd been outside since the day she was attacked.  The bitter wind nipped at her skin, making her shiver and cross her arms over her chest.  Ashton put his hand in the middle of Samantha's back, guiding her to Calum's car.  Calum jogged ahead of them to start the car and get the heat going.  When Ashton opened the back door to help Samantha in, Calum handed him a hoodie for Samantha.  Ashton smiled to himself when he realized it was one that he had left in Calum's car a while back as he helped Samantha into the hoodie and sat her in the backseat.  

 

The drive to Samantha's former apartment was short, filled with small talk between Calum and Ashton with Ashton giving Calum directions to the apartment.  Samantha tugged the sleeves of Ashton's hoodie around her hands as watched out the window, taking in the beauty of the fall colors around the city.  This had always been her favorite time of year to capture in her sketchbook as she sat by her bedroom window.  

Samantha's thoughts were interrupted by Ashton's hand touching her knee to get her attention.  "Did you hear me?"  
"Hmm?" she said, turning to his voice.  She hadn't realized that the car had stopped and that they had reached their destination.  Samantha's heart skipped a beat, readying herself to make her final interaction with any related to Jason.  Ashton and Calum exchanged a serious look before getting out of the car.  Samantha's door opened and Ashton's hand appeared before her, an offering to help her out of the car.  Ashton noticed the fear, evident in Samantha's widened eyes.  He crouched down to eye level, taking her hand in his.    
"Sam, listen to me.  We'll be in and out, okay?  Calum brought a few totes to help carry your things out.  We'll load up and go grab something to eat.  I'll be by your side the whole time.  Come on," Ashton said softly, standing and lightly pulling on Samantha's hand, helping her out of the car.  

 

                                                                                

 

They made there way up to the floor of Samantha's former apartment.  They were met at the door by officers Costello and McClane, along with the landlord to let them in.

"Hey, Ms. Barron.  How are you doing today?" Officer McClane said, offering a sad smile and taking one of the totes from Calum's hands.  
"Ready to get this over with," Samantha laughed nervously.  "Thank you for being here today, guys."  
"No problem, Sam.  It's good to see you again.  Sad to see you go, though.  You were one of my best tenants," Eddie, the landlord, said as he gave Samantha a gentle hug.    
"There will be more to come, Eddie.  Don't worry," Samantha said with a smile.  Eddie put the key in the door, looking at Samantha again to gauge her reaction as she stared at the last barrier to the scene of Samantha's attack.  Eddie unlocked the door, pushing it open and taking a step in.  Officer McClane walked in after him.  Samantha felt glued to the floor.  She knew she needed to do this to move on with her life, but she wasn't ready to face this.  She wasn't sure if she ever would be.  

Ashton raised his hand to Samantha's chin, softly tilting her gaze to him.  "You're safe, Sam.  He's not here and you won't have to be anywhere near him ever again.  We can get this done quickly, but we need your help, okay?  You can either pass stuff to us to pack up, or you can point to things and we'll pack them.  Go at your own pace, but understand that you are surrounded by people who are here to help you through this."    
Samantha nodded stiffly.  Ashton couldn't help but wrap his arms around the broken girl, just as he wanted to the day he saw her with the same look on her face in the park.    
"Come on, Sam.  Let's get this done so we can go get some real bacon!" Calum said, rubbing Samantha's back with his hand as he stepped around her and into the apartment.

 

When everyone had already stepped into the room, Ashton finally unwrapped his arms from around Samantha, keeping his hand on her lower back as he lead her into the apartment that was in complete disarray.  Between the police and the paramedics, and what Samantha could only assume had been Jason, it looked as if a tornado had torn through the room.

Samantha closed her eyes, inhaling deeply.  When she was as satisfied as she could be with her level of calm, she spoke up.  "Alright, let's get this over with," she said.  Samantha pointed out a few pictures from the wall and bookshelf that she wanted to take with her, the ones of her with her family back home.  "The rest can stay.  The bastard can have them as a reminder."

 

They were able to fit all of Samantha's belongings and clothes in both totes and a small duffle bag.    
"Well, that's everything," Samantha sighed.  They were ready to walk out of the door when Ashton gave a final look around, his eyebrows furrowing as he turned to look at Samantha.  A thought struck him, forcing him to go back into Samantha's former bedroom.  When he returned, he had a shoebox in his hand that he pulled from under the bed.  He knew that the horrified look on Samantha's face had proven his instincts right.  Samantha's gaze quickly turned to the floor.  She had purposely avoided doing a "thorough" check of the bedroom for exactly this reason.  

"This is always one of toughest parts for all of our new patients," Ashton said, focusing his eyes on the box.  "This has to come with us, and you have to hold it on the way to the Sanctuary.  This is your second test.  The first test was being presented the opportunity of help and accepting it."  
"How is bringing that---why?" Samantha said, her voice strained.    
The officers exchanged confused glances as they watched the faces of Samantha, Ashton, and Calum, holding solemn expressions.  
Officer Costello was the one to give in, "care to clue us in?"  
Ashton lifted the lid to the shoebox labeled "Crafts", tilting it to show them it's true contents.

_Razors._

Laying in the box were all of the objects Samantha used to harm herself with, as well as medical supplies to care for them afterwards.  Samantha had always laughed about when she had labeled the box.  It was a name no one would suspect, one no one would think to look in to find her tools of self-torture.

Ashton knew to look because that's where he kept his.  After his sister's death, he spiraled out of control; everyone in his family had.  It took him several months to wean himself from this habit, finally deciding that he couldn't be strong for his family if he wasn't being strong for himself.  Eventually he put his energy into helping people, promising that he would keep as many people as he could from ending up like his sister, and so that less families wound up like his: broken, clueless, and wondering "why?".

Save

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think!


	13. Starting Anew

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Sam!" he gripped her chin with one hand, forcing her to look at him, to see that he was still there with her, wherever her mind may have taken her. "Shit..." Ashton hissed, sliding out of the booth and grabbing Samantha, who now had tears streaming down her cheeks, a scream stuck in her throat. His hand tightly wrapped around hers, he pulled her out of the diner, making sure to put himself between the man and Samantha.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do not own any images used!
> 
> Thank you all for being so patient between posts and for nudging me to post!

 

                                                                                           

 

Samantha's chest was tight with anger as she stared at the box in Ashton's hands.  
"How?" Samantha said, her voice tight as she looked up at him with wet eyes.  
"That's a story for another time, Sam," he replied simply, stepping so that he was only a few feet away from her now.  
"Why?"  
"We're not going to play 20 questions.  To allow yourself to receive help, you have to allow yourself to say 'goodbye' to what you've held closest to your heart.  Whether you realize it or want to admit it, these--" Ashton held out the open box towards Samantha, who closed her eyes, turning her face away from the box, "--are what have captivated your heart and wound themselves into your thoughts since the second they first touched your skin.  Are you ready to be done with these, Sam?" Ashton asked.  When Samantha refused to answer him or even look at him, Ashton raised the hand not holding the open box until he was touching the side of Samantha's face.  She didn't flinch or pull away like she had when they first met, and Ashton found some comfort in that she was no longer afraid of him.

Samantha turned her face so that she was looking at Ashton again, not saying a word.  Ashton could see that Samantha is in the process of either learning to be who she was before Jason, or forgoing her past altogether and getting to know who she will be from this chapter of her life forward.  She had been away from people for so long that she wasn't sure how to act, or how she was expected to act anymore, especially when her every breath is not being controlled.

"Are you ready, Sammy?" Ashton asked softly.  Samantha took a moment before nodding her head slowly.  Ashton took Samantha's hand, rubbing her skin with the pad of this thumb before raising her hand to his that was holding the bottom of the box.  "You've got this," he said, letting go once he was sure she had a grip on the box.  He watched as her jaw tightened and her mind raced.   
When she looked into his eyes and nodded a moment later, Ashton finally let himself release the breath he didn't realize he had been holding.  

"Let's go get some real bacon!" Calum cheered, turning and walked out of the room with a tote in his hand.  It was all he could think to say after the scene he had just witnessed.  
"Come on," Ashton said, touching Samantha's shoulder softly before throwing the duffle bag over his shoulder and picking up the remaining tote and stepping into the hallway.   
Samantha took one last look around before closing the door behind her, and she had never been more relieved and ready to welcome change.

 

 xXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX

     

 

 

With the totes safely loaded in Calum's vehicle, the trio climbed in and headed to a small diner near the Sanctuary that Calum and Ashton regularly visited.  Trying to fill the awkward silence with any sound he could, Calum had turned on the radio and began drumming his fingers on the steering wheel and humming softly.  
Checking the rearview mirror to make sure Samantha was looking out of her window, Calum nudged Ashton to get his attention.  Ashton looked at him with a wary expression on his face and it was clear that he had been lost in his thoughts since leaving the apartment.  
  
_You okay?_ Calum signed to Ashton.  Ashton shrugged and signed back _We'll talk later_.  Calum nodded and turned back to drumming along to the music.

Ashton felt like he knew everything about Samantha and nothing at the same time.  He knew her better than she knew herself at this point in time, that was something he was sure of.  She had been doing everything she could to get out of her own head while he had been dedicating years of his life to getting into people's heads so that he could guide them to the light.  He understood that he knew nothing about Samantha's specific past or struggles or the things she liked, but he felt that she may not know that about herself right now either.  He knew that the road to getting her to a healthy mind and body would be a bit more rocky than he had been faced with lately.  He felt prepared to do anything he could to get her through this darkness that she has struggled with for so long on her own.  

In the short time that he had known her, Ashton was drawn to her.  She was intelligent, funny, talented.  He couldn't understand why she was alone and why she had no one in her life to support her and help her to raise her self-esteem.  He couldn't seem to understand why the people in her life had decided that she wasn't worth the dirt she stood on or the breath in her lungs.   _She's beautiful_ , Ashton thought to himself, _inside and out._ He had been trying to figure out how people weren't drawn to the brightness he saw in her that has been hidden through years of torment.   _I have to prove to her that not everyone wants to cut her down; not everyone wants her to hide who she truly is_.

 

They reached the diner where Calum and Ashton ate together on a regular basis since they were almost always working the same shift and Angel's Sanctuary.  They walked in, Samantha looking around nervously.  She hadn't been around this many people in one room in a long time.  Sensing Samantha's anxiety, Ashton put a light hand on her shoulder, not moving when she flinched and looked up at him with worried eyes.  "It's okay, Sam.  Let's get a table," he said with an even voice and kind eyes.  He guided her to the table that Calum had already sat down at, Ashton and Calum's usual table in the back corner--with a clear view of the door.  Calum sat where he was facing the wall, leaving the section facing the door for Samantha and Ashton to sit in.

"After you, milady," Ashton smiled, gesturing towards the empty seat.  Samantha shook her head with a slight smile on her face, scooting in next to the window.  A waitress came up, handing them menus and pulling her notepad and a pen out of her apron.  
"Good morning!  How's everyone doing today?" she said, beaming at the occupants of her table.  
"Hey, Mary!  We're doing alright.  How are you?" Calum replied.   
"I'm doing just fine, darlin'.  What can I get you to drink?"  
"I'll take coffee, please.  Black with two sugars," Calum said, realizing how tired he was without his caffeine fix this morning.  
"Okay, and for you, Ashton?" she asked, writing down their orders as they spoke.  
"Coffee with two creams and sugars."  
"And you, miss?" Mary said, looking up from her notepad.  Samantha was lost in her own world again, staring out the window at the bustling city sidewalk outside the restaurant.  She wondered what it was like to have a normal life--and what normal was considered anymore.

 

 

"Sam," Ashton said softly, touching a hand to her arm when she didn't look up at the sound of his voice.   
"Hmm?" Sam turned to face him, eyes wide and chewing on her bottom lip.  
"What do you want to drink, Sam?" Ashton asked.  
"Coffee.  Three creams, one sugar.  Please," Samantha said, her voice barely audible.   
"Coming right up," Mary said, a sad smile on her face as she looked at Calum and Ashton before walking away.  She was familiar with their work and had seen a few patients come in with them on their way to the Sanctuary.

 

They sat silently looking at the menu for a few moments.  Mary brought their coffees and agreed to give them a few minutes to make a decision.  Calum and Ashton always ordered the same thing, but Samantha didn't seem to be particularly interested in anything.  
"Finding anything you like, Sam?" Ashton asked, folding his hands in his lap.  It was taking everything in him to keep from wrapping his arms around her until every trace of sadness and brokenness had been vanished from her soul.  It physically pained him to watch her looking out the window of the diner and watching life pass her by.  He watched as she kept her arms tucked away, keeping her wrists out of sight even though she was wrapped safely in his jacket.  
"Not really.  I'm not all that hungry," Samantha replied.  Even though she had always been her own enemy, food had definitely played a part in her battle with herself since getting with Jason.  She had already eaten more than she normally would in three days at the hospital.  
"That's okay.  I never finish mine, so we can share.  Scrambled eggs, bacon, and hashbrowns sound good?" Ashton asked, folding up their menus.  Samantha nodded, turning back to the window as Ashton waved Mary over and put in their orders.  

 

 

                                                                                                                      

 

Calum couldn't help but watch the interactions of Ashton and Sam.  He had seen Ashton with patients and coworkers, but he had never seen Ashton like this.  He could see his friend hesitate with each of his actions, running his words through his head a second and third time before letting them spill out of his mouth.  It was clear to him that he felt some pull towards Sam, he just couldn't understand why.  She was no different than any other patient they had come into contact with.  She was a broken girl who had suffered years of abuse, both by herself and by others.  What about this girl had come to strike Ashton any different than any other patient?  
As for Samantha--she seemed to find asylum in Ashton.  Since she laid eyes on him in the hospital, he had become her safe haven, her path to alleviation from every evil thought or action that had ever crossed her.  Her actions suited that of an abuse victim when she was with everyone but Ashton.  She was wary of others, jumpy, visibly uncomfortable, but when she was near Ashton--it all went away.  It was as if the only way she'd be able to stay intact was if he was physically near her, holding her together.  

Mary brought their food, along with a small plate for Ashton to share his food with Samantha.  He smiled thankfully to her and she patted his back before walking away, glancing over her shoulder at them as she settled behind the counter.   Samantha tucked her hands between her knees, thankful that the jacket hid her hospital bracelet and bandaged wrists.  Ashton took small portions of each of his food items, transferring them the small plate for Samantha and sliding it back in front of her.   
"If you want any more, just let me know.  Lunch isn't for another few hours, so dig in," said Ashton.

 

Ashton and Calum were deep into a conversation about a movie they had seen recently while Samantha picked at her food.  Her fork clatters suddenly to her plate, silence filling the air.  She had looked up to listen to Calum's opinion on the movie, when she caught a glance of the back of a dark-haired figure that had just entered the door to the diner.  Frozen in place, Samantha's breath quickened until she was fully hyperventilating.   
Ashton dropped his eating utensils, grabbing Samantha's shoulders and turning her to face him.  Her body moved, but her head didn't budge.  Ashton followed her line of sight, seeing the dark-haired man that was now looking in the direction of the commotion.  She must think he's Jason, judging my her reaction to his likeness.  

"Sam!" he gripped her chin with one hand, forcing her to look at him, to see that he was still there with her, wherever her mind may have taken her.  "Shit..." Ashton hissed, sliding out of the booth and grabbing Samantha, who now had tears streaming down her cheeks, a scream stuck in her throat.  His hand tightly wrapped around hers, he pulled her out of the diner, making sure to put himself between the man and Samantha.  They walked quickly, finding an alley that was completely out of view of the diner.  Ashton stopped suddenly, turning towards Samantha and cupping her face between his hands.

"Samantha!  Listen to me, it's Ashton.  Come back to me!  Please, Sam, it's me.  No one else is here.  No one is going to hurt you.  I'm right here."  His words finally broke through her terrified thoughts.  Her vision that had been clouded by fear cleared and his face came into her vision.   
"Ash!" Sam shrieked, throwing her arms around his neck and sobbing.  Ashton breathed a sigh of relief when he saw that she had finally broken from her panic attack.  He wrapped his arms tightly around her middle, rubbing her back and rocking her slightly to soothe her.  
"It's okay, Sammy.  I'm here.  You're safe, Sammy," Ashton whispered into her ear.  He closed his eyes, pressing his lips to her hair and sending a "thank you" into the Universe for the small victory of bring her back to him once again.  He had a feeling that these were going to be come more frequent as the true depth of her trauma came to light over the next few weeks.

 

 

                                                                                                 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think! Is Ashton overstepping his bounds? Should Calum intervene? Is Samantha crazy for trusting Ashton when she hardly knows him?


	14. View Askew

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Samantha arrives at Angel's Sanctuary and she must undergo the Intake process, which is a little hard for Ashton to withstand.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry to rehash the events. Sam doesn't know Ashton's side, she doesn't know his, and Rena knows nothing.
> 
> I've actually had an outline of this written for WEEKS, but I couldn't seem to come up with the in-between. Finally, it has come! It's a bit graphic and drawn out, but I didn't really want to skimp on details if I didn't have to.
> 
> Enjoy!

When they arrived back at Angel's Sanctuary, the day was in full swing.  Everyone was at their various morning destinations, ready for lunchtime to come.

"First is intake," Ashton said to Samantha as they walked through the front door, greeting the receptionist.  They walked down a hallway with Samantha's items in tow until they reached a window marked 'Intake'.  Ashton knocked on the window to get the clerk's attention from the other side of the room.

"Good morning, Rena," Ashton and Calum greeted her with bright smiles.  
"Ah, my two favorite boys!  How are you today?" she beamed.  They made small talk for a few moments before introducing Samantha, who waved with a tight-lipped smile at Rena.  "Come on in, dear," she said, the door unlocking with a buzz.  Ashton felt someone nudge his arm.  He turned to see Calum jerking his head down the hallway, wanting to speak to him.  Samantha started to step in the door, but when Ashton didn't follow her, she froze.  
"Go on in.  I'll be right there, okay?" Ashton said, smiling tightly at her before shutting the door between them.

 

                                                                              

 

Calum pulls Ashton down the hallway, still in sight of the Intake window so that Samantha doesn't freak out, but can't hear what they're saying.  
"What the fuck are you doing?" Calum asked in a hushed tone.  
"I need you to be her counselor, Cal.  I can't handle this," Ashton said, crossing his arms and looking over his shoulder at Samantha.  
"No shit, Ashton," Calum said, running his hand over his face.  "Listen, I have space in my group, so it won't be a problem.  I just don't want Mr. Vincent asking questions when you're the first to run to her every time she freaks out."  
"I'm trying, Cal, but it seems like I'm the only thing that can calm her down.  I was there with her the day in the park when she had her major break down.  Maybe she's held on to that, and, with me being there when she woke up in the hospital, and right there when she found out Jason was in the hospital... Maybe she's counting on me to be there for her, and to make sure that no one hurts her."  
"That's our job, Ashton.  That's what we do for ALL of our patients," Calum said, his hands extended as if to indicate that they were all there with them.  
"Yeah, Cal.  Like we did for Skyler?  That worked out really fucking well, didn't it?" Ashton spat, taking a step towards Calum.  
"That's not fair, Ashton.  Fucking bullshit," Calum said, shaking his head as he looked to the ceiling.  He took a breath to calm himself.  "Listen, Ash.  Just do what you have to, but try not to cross any more lines, okay?" Ashton nodded after a moment.  "You'd better get back to her.  She's looking pretty antsy in there."  They hugged briefly, putting this conversation aside for now

They turned, walking towards the door to the Intake room.  Ashton knocked softly, stepping in the door.  Calum stuck his head in, bidding everyone a good day as he ran to tend to his duties.

"Samantha, what's your last name, sweetie?" Rena asked, flipping through a few files on her desk.  
"Barron," Samantha answered after clearing her throat.  She looked at Ashton who smiled effortlessly at her.  His presence and smile lessened her anxiety, but not by much.  
"Ah, here we are!  I already have some notes in your file, and I should have your medical records by the end of the week.  I just need you to fill out a few forms with me and answer a few questions.  Is that okay?"  Samantha nodded.  "Okay, then.  Let's have a seat," she said, gesturing to a desk with a few chairs next to the intake window.  Samantha looked to Ashton for verification, only sitting when she received a reassuring nod from him.  
"Can he stay?" Samantha asked quietly, pointing at Ashton.  
"I don't see why not, dear," Rena smiled, recalling the notes of Ashton's hospital visits from Samantha's file and a previous conversation with Calum.  Ashton pulled up a chair behind Samantha so that he was out of the way.  "After your intake process is complete, you will report to your counselor, who will be--"  Rena said, looking up at Ashton expectedly.  
"Calum. I don't have any room in my group, unfortunately," Ashton said, regretfully.  
"Okay. Calum will fill you in on the schedule and show you around the building, as well as to your bunk."  
Samantha nodded again.  She wished that Ashton would have been her counselor, but at least she's comfortable enough with Calum.  Rena pulled up the necessary form on her screen, typing a few notes before facing Samantha again.  
"Okay, Samantha.  I want you to know that anything you tell me is completely confidential.  The only people who have access to your file, and your answers to these questions, will be me, your counselor, and Mr. Vincent, the head administrator.  We will not share any information unless it is medically necessary.  With that being said, you must answer all of these questions honestly, and with the full truth.  We cannot help you here at the Angel's Sanctuary if we do not know everything, so please do not withhold any information, okay?" Rena asked, her eyes searching Samantha's to gauge her reaction.  After a moment, Samantha nodded softly.  She had never spoken to anyone about her depression or self-harm, so it was going to be difficult, but she had to try.

"Sam," Ashton said quietly.  Samantha turned her head to look at Ashton, whose elbows were resting on his knees, his hands clasped in front of him.  His eyes showed how exhausted he was.  "Are you absolutely sure you want me in here for this?  I have no problem staying, but I want to make sure that you feel 100% comfortable answering Ms. Rena's questions today."  
Samantha nodded quickly.  She felt that she would be more uncomfortable and less likely to answer the questions honestly if he weren't here.  
"Stay, please?" her voice barely audible, as if the words were meant for Ashton's ears only.  
"Okay.  I'll be right here," Ashton said, leaning back in his seat and crossing his arms over his chest.  
"Okay, Samantha," Rena said to pull her attention back to the task at hand.  "Are you currently, or have you ever been, prescribed any medication for anything related to depression, chemical imbalance, or mental illness?" Rena asked, her fingers poised to type the response.  
Samantha shook her head.  
"Have you ever seen a medical professional, including a therapist for anything?"  
Samantha looked at her hands, fiddling with her fingers before shaking her head.  
"Have you ever been hospitalized or received medical treatment?" Rena asked, typing notes as she spoke.  
"No, ma'am.  Only this week," Samantha said, the hospital bracelet immediately feeling itchy and restraining.  
"How long were you hospitalized?"  
"Honestly, I don't even know what month it is, let alone how long I was in there," Samantha chuckled dryly.  Rena looked up at Ashton with wide eyes.  
"Four days," Ashton spoke up.  "She was unconscious for three.  She woke up yesterday and they released her this morning," Ashton answered the question after recovering from feeling like the wind had been knocked out of him.  "It's October, Sam.  Sunday, October 16th."                         

Samantha felt dizzy. _October?  How much time have I lost?_  
"Samantha, dear?" Rena asked to snap Samantha out of her head.  Once she had Samantha's eyes on hers, she continued.  "Why were you admitted into the hospital?"  
Samantha's eyebrows knitted together, her mouth falling open to speak, only to shut it again.  
"It's okay, take your time," Rena assured her.  
"I--um--I got into an argument with my boyfriend--ex-boyfriend," Samantha paused to laugh and look at the ceiling.  "We argued, and then, it got physical, and I passed out," Samantha finished, trying her best to explain the situation as best she could without going into too much detail, not wanting to risk a flashback.  
"Okay.  You're doing great, Samantha," Rena said, making notes.  "What was the argument about?"  
Samantha struggled to remember.  She remembered yelling and the smell of alcohol and screaming for help.  She inhaled sharply, as if the fog cleared.  Ashton watched her with wary eyes.  He hadn't had the courage to ask her what prompted the violence against the poor girl.  Based on the scars and x-rays, it seemed like a regular occurence with little "provocation" on Sam's part.  Her next words proved Ashton right.

 

                                                             

 

Samantha looked back at her hands, her lips trapped between her teeth for a moment before she answered.  
"I left the apartment and wasn't there when he came home from work, so he accused me of cheating."  
"Where did you go when you left the apartment, Samantha?" Rena asked as she typed, afraid the tone of her question may have come out as accusatory.  Ashton leaned closer.  He knew where Sam ended up: the park.  He didn't know anything about her or her day leading up to the moment he saw her running in the park, her screams still echoing in his ears.  
"I--um," Samantha looked down in thought.  "I think I went to the store for something, but I never made it there," she struggled to remember.  "On my way to the store, I passed this mural on the wall of a store on Washington Avenue.  It was beautiful.  The lines were wistful and the colors were bright and happy," she smiled, looking up at Rena who returned her smile.  "It was amazing.  Up until this year, I was an artist.  I moved here from North Carolina to go to the University to attend art classes," Samantha said.  This was the most she had talked in months, especially about herself.  It felt borderline liberating.  
"Why'd you stop going, Sam?  I've seen your sketchbook; you're _amazing_.  You are so talented, it's unreal," Ashton said.  He couldn't wait to see more of her sketches than the handful he caught a glimpse of.  
It took Samantha a moment to answer.  "I was convinced otherwise.  I eventually lost my passion for it.  I got tired of everything being picked apart; just like me.  So, I stopped.  I figured I'd give him one less thing to tear me down for," Samantha slumped, as if trying to make her small form even smaller, maybe even disappear.

"Samantha, dear," Rena asked softly.  Samantha slowly looked up at her, waiting for her next words.  "The day you were hospitalized, was that he first time physical violence occurred?" Rena asked, taking notes.  
Samantha shook her head.  "We were together for a few years.  It started a few months in.  Started off as him gripping my arm to keep me from walking away from an argument.  Eventually, he would come home and drink.  I stopped being his girlfriend and started being his human punching bag," Samantha explained, shifting in her seat as she felt the uncomfortable air in the room, wishing it would consume her.  She felt so vulnerable, but free.  Free from Jason and his fists, his control, and the secrets she was forced to keep.  She was ready to move on, move forward with her life, with a new will to live and to pursue happiness, to never be under someone's thumb again.

Samantha stood up from her chair to shake the tension out of her bones, working to convince herself that this was all absolutely necessary to the healing process.  When she moved, the hoodie she was wearing lifted slightly, unveiling more skin to Ashton, and more scars.  
"You're doing so well, Samantha.  Thank you for giving us an insight into why you're here so that we can better help you," Rena said, her hands clasped together.  
Samantha crossed her arms over her chest, still standing.  She nodded and couldn't help but be thankful that they were still here listening to her and actually letting her speak.  Something tol dher that this was just the beginning and that it wouldn't always be this easy.  the next line of questioning proved her thoughts to be correct.

"Samantha, the next part of intake has proven to be a little more difficult for people to be forthcoming with information.  I need you to understand that you are not being judged in this room for anything that is seen or heard, and I want to assure you that you are absolutely safe.  Do you understand that, Samantha?" Rena asked after bringing her computer to a new screen and facing Samantha completely.  Samantha nodded, unsure of the entirety of what was to come.

"Okay.  Would you mind removing your jacket for me?" Rena asked.  Samantha's body tensed.  It was one thing to talk about things; it was another to be an object of show-and-tell.

Samantha turned to Ashton, her eyes wide.  Ashton nodded, half confirming that this was happening, whether she liked it or not, and half reassuring her that she could do this.  
Samantha drew in a shaky breath.   _Now or never._ Samantha pulled the hoodie over her head, wincing at the dull pain in her ribs from lifting her arms over her head.  Samantha folded it slightly before holding it out to Ashton.  
"Thank you, Ash.  For letting me borrow it," she said, pulling her arm around herself that wasn't holding out the hoodie to him.  
Ashton shook his head, smiling slightly.  "Keep it.  Trust me, I have plenty between me and Cal.  Don't look at me like that," Ashton chuckled under Samantha's questioning eyes.  "Consider it the first thing you own that is connected to your future, not your past," Ashton assured her as she dropped her arms to her sides, looking down at the hoodie in her hands.  
"Thank you, Ash.  I mean it."  
"Once the intake process is over, you can wear it all you want, except for when we have to do random checks."  Samantha nodded, setting the piece of clothing down on her duffle bag that is filled with her other clothing.  She turned, ready to face Rena's new line of questioning.  When she looked at Rena, she was met with a smile and soft eyes.  It was moments like these that gave Rena proof that people _could_ come through their issues to the other side, and that it was sometimes evident on their first day at Angel's Sanctuary.  
"Alright, dear.  You're not going to like this, and you're damn sure not going to be comfortable, but it is necessary so that we can help you, especially in your one-on-ones with your counselor."  
Sam nodded her head, not trusting her voice at this point, a knot building in her throat, her stomach tight with anticipation.  "I'm going to ask you about your self-harm techniques.  Then, I'm going to have you hand over any objects you brought with you that correlate with the information you give me about your self-harming.  We will go through the belongings you have brought with you, which will then be stored.  Finally, I will take an inventory of your body, taking notes on your scars and physical condition.  This will help us track your progression as you move through the various steps of your therapy.  It will not be easy now, but it will help us--and you--down the road."

Samantha stood in silence.  In order to gain control, she was going to have to relinquish it to the Sanctuary temporarily.  _They are trained professionals, and they wouldn't be doing this if they had any other choice_ , she reminded herself. She took a deep breath to steady her heartbeat and the shake in her hands.  
"Start with your most used and continue through the techniques or tools you've only used a handful of times or less, but I need you to be specific in the tools and places on your body they were used.  Okay, Samantha?" Rena said.   Samantha nodded, trying her best to remember what all she has used through more than a decade of self-harm.  
She went down the line, listing what was used and where.  By the time she ran out of information, she couldn't bring herself to look at Ashton.  She could feel his gaze on her, but she didn't want to actually see the disappointment and disgust on his face at how pathetic she was.  
She wouldn't have seen any of that, though.  Any disgust that Ashton was feeling was towards the people in Sam's life who either knew about her self-harm and depression and didn't care enough to do anything to help her, and to those who caused those issues to worsen, like Jason.  Ashton felt as though he could do unspeakable things to Jason and feel no remorse at this point.  For the life of him, Ashton couldn't seem to figure out what could have fucked Jason up in the head to the point of him putting his hands on Samantha in a violent way, let alone speaking to her in a manner that would drive her to believe that she deserved anything less than the world, or that she wasn't beautiful, inside and out.  It took everything in Ashton to not wrap Samantha in his arms when he saw the shame and self-disgust written on her face.  
While Ashton was fighting his internal battle, Samantha and Rena had nearly made it through Samantha's "box of goodies", her personal items poised to be gone through at later time.

"You really have been at this for some time, Samantha," Rena sighed, flipping over an extra roll of medical tape in her hands as she looked over the contents of the "Crafts" box that were now laid out on the inspection table to be documented.  Blades, scalpels, dismantled shaving razors, gauze, Band-Aids, large bandages, medical tape; those items were only the beginning of the items in the box.  
Ashton thought back to when he was watching Samantha pack her belongings at her apartment this morning.  The majority of her clothes had been long-sleeved shirts and pants, regardless of the heat that had everyone else in tank tops and shorts.  This was the extent that Samantha had gone through to hide her wounds and scars in plain sight.

"Has anyone ever confronted you about any of this, Sam?  Your wounds, your scars, the long sleeves-- _any_ of it?" Ashton asked, his voice unsteady with disbelief at how long this had gone on.  Samantha looked into Ashton's eyes, green with flecks of bright gold, watery with unshed tears.  She had to look down to answer him, unable to hold his gaze any longer.  
She shook her head, "Not until that day in the park."  She chuckled sadly.  "I bet you thought I was losing my damn mind."  
"What happened?  I have Ashton's notes in your file, but I want to hear it from you, Samantha," Rena asked, turning to face Samantha, who was still standing, her arms wrapped around herself as she shifted her weight from foot to foot.

"I--after I saw the mural on that building, I went home--I want back to the apartment, and tried to draw again.  It had been _months_ , but when I got back to the apartment, I couldn't draw.  I had no inspiration.  So, I went to the park, which is where I used to get most of my inspiration.  Only, when I looked up from my sketchbook, it was him; it was Jason that I was drawing.  I felt something inside of me...snap.  I didn't realize I was screaming bloody murder until I ran out of air.  When I looked around me, I could only feel everyone staring at me, judgment me, again," she laughed dryly.  "So, I ran.  I ran until I couldn't run anymore.  That's when Ashton found me.  And when he confronted me about my scars and gave me his card."  
"And after that?" Ashton asked, looking up at Samantha as if he were trying to keep any emotion from showing on his face.  
"Then, I left the park and got a call from Jason.  He told me to hurry up and get home.  When I got there, he was playing games with a few of his buddies and drinking.  He cornered me in the bedroom and accused me of cheating when I told him I had to run a few errands.  And then...."  she let out a shuddered breath.  "Yeah, it's a little fuzzy after that," she laughed, no humor in her voice.  "The next thing I remember is waking up in the hospital in so much pain and seeing Ashton next to me," she said, looking at Ashton with a half-smile.  
  
Rena nodded when Samantha finished speaking, having taken notes as she told her story.  Heavy silence hung in the air, only interrupted when there was a small knock at the door.  Calum stuck his head in, the smile dropping from his face when he picked up the vibe in the room.  
"Sorry to interrupt, but Group will be starting soon.  I was just coming to collect Sam, if you're finished."  
Samantha looked at Rena, silently pleading for this part to be over.  Rena nodded her head.   
"We're done for now.  If I need any more information, I'll come get you, Samantha.  It was nice to meet you," Rena said, smiling and giving a small wave to Calum.  Samantha grabbed her new hoodie and squeezed through the door that Calum was now holding open.  She took several steps down the hallway, putting on the jacket, before turning to wait for Calum.  Calum looked at Ashton, taking in his disheveled demeanor.   
"How'd it go?" Calum whispered.  
"About how I thought it would.  Once she got started, it was like a floodgate," Ashton said, motioning his arms to demonstrate.  "It's some sick shit, bro."  Calum nodded, knowing he was likely to find this out for himself during group and one-on-one sessions with Samantha.   
"I'm going to go show her around before lunch.  We'll sit down and talk about it later, yeah?" Calum said, clapping Ashton on the shoulder.  When Ashton nodded, Calum turned to wave at Rena before jogging to meet Samantha down the hall.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for being so patient! Let me know what you think!


	15. Get Well

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Samantha has her first group therapy session with Calum as the group leader. Samantha bumps heads with one of the other patients.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter inspiration: Icon for Hire - Get well
> 
> Hey, everyone! Here's the new chapter. I've had bits and pieces of this done, just needed to get a beginning and end to it.
> 
> I do have to admit that, while writing this, I didn't completely feel that the interaction Sam had during group completely went along with what a normal "victim" might be experiencing. This is the main reason for my hesitancy to post this chapter. The main reason the interaction came to me was the feeling that I got from the character whose pictures I use as a reference for Samantha's character, Jo Harvelle from Supernatural. Her character has an attitude of someone who has been through some shit, but is not weak. I don't want Sam to be weak; I want her to accept what has happened to her and use it to thrive and get to a better place to where she may even be able to help others.
> 
> Hope you like it!
> 
> I do not own any pictures used!

When lunchtime came, Samantha sat as far away from everyone as she could, picking at her food.  This was the beginning of a long road, but she was hoping to stick with the small bit of determination and openness she had experienced in Intake.  Samantha couldn't get the look on Ashton's face out of her head when he had heard a good chunk of what's got her so fucked up.  Now that she had finally let Ashton have a bit of insight into her life, she was positive he'd never look at her as anything more than a patient again.   _ Ugh, "patient" _ , Samantha wrinkled her nose at the thought of her new title.  Better get used to it.  Samantha scooted her chair back, dumping her uneaten lunch in the trash and disposing of her tray before finding her way to her first group session.

 

xXxXxXxXxXxX

 

****

 

"Let's go around the circle and tell Samantha a little bit about ourselves and why we're here," Calum said, sitting in his folding chair with his clipboard in his lap.  In her few short hours at the Sanctuary, Samantha has come to learn that these clipboards are ever-present with the counselors, always ready to make notes or add to any reports.

"How many times are we going to have to do this," a patient asked, crossing her arms over her chest.  "How many more times must our stories be told?"

"Hannah, you know this is all part of it when we have a new person introduced into the group.  Everyone tells a little bit about themselves and it helps the new member get accustomed to everyone; it makes it easier for them to open up about their own demons that they're fighting," Calum said with an exasperated sigh, laying his clipboard on the table next to him and preparing for one of Hannah's tantrums.

Hannah turned her body to face Samantha.  "Well, Stacy--" Hannah leaned forward, a smug look on her face as she prepared to dig into her.

"It's Samantha," she said, already seeing that this attitude is a regular thing the group is forced to deal with.

"Whatever, Sharon.  We're all fucked up; that's why we're here.  So, what's your malfunction?  Daddy issues?  Did mommy not hug you enough as a little one?" Hannah spat, her head tilting.

Samantha laughed at Hannah's behavior.

"What's so funny, bitch?  Hospital bracelet, hospital sweats, fresh bandages on your wrists and face.  Did your boytoy smack your ass up a little bit?  Hmm?" Hannah said, standing up and leaning down in front of Samantha, getting into her face.  "Did you boohoo and try to end it all?  Looks like it wasn't the first time," Hannah said, running her finger down Samantha's forearm.  Samantha jerked her arm away from Hannah's touch.

"That's enough, Hannah," Calum growled.  "Sit down."

"Come on, baby.  Open up.  It's all part of therapy.  Did your demons drag you down too far?  Or are they all swimming in that pretty little head of yours?" Hannah said darkly, touching two fingertips to Samantha's temple.  Samantha smacked Hannah's hand away from her face, scooting her chair back to get some breathing room before standing up.  Hannah smirked, stepping into the space between them again.  Samantha stuck her hand out to stop her.

 

                                                                      

 

"Listen, Hayley--" Samantha started.

"It's Hannah!" she screamed.   _ Really, bitch?   _ Samantha smirked.

"Gold star for getting your own name right.  Listen, Han," Samantha said, stepping into Hannah's space now.  "I'm not here to deal with your mind games or your mouth.  I'm here to move on and get well.  That's what we're all here for.  If that's not what you're here to do, that's your own problem.  I don't think you should try and hinder or fuck with anyone who's here to make progress.  So, get out of my face, sit the fuck down, and shut up.  'Kay, sweetie?"

Hannah scoffed and she shoved Samantha backwards.

"Alright, Hannah.  That's enough out of you for today," Calum said, separating them.  "Sit down, Samantha.  You," Calum said, pointing a finger at Hannah.  "Get out.  I don't want to hear it right now, Hannah.  We'll talk about it later."

Although reluctantly, they both obeyed Calum's command.  Hannah walked out into hallway, knocking things over as she exited the room.

"Now that we've had our excitement for the day...  Adam, why don't you start us off," Calum said, motioning at one of the people in the circle as he sat down, situating his clipboard in his lap again.

"Hi, I'm Adam, and I'm diagnosed as bipolar with panic attacks.  My chosen coping method for eight years has been pyro-self-injury.  I have used clinically approved coping methods rather than my own for 64 days now," the boy said.  Samantha nodded sadly as she listen to him.  He couldn't have been more than 17 years old, but it was clear that this was not his first go-around.

"Thank you, Adam.  Francine, you're next."

The group of nine continued in a circle, one after another.

 

"Thank you, Timothy.  My name is Calum.  I am diagnosed with manic depression and obsessive compulsive disorder.  My chosen coping method is alcohol.  I have been using clinically approved coping methods for seven years and three months."   _ Whoa.  " _ And last, but not least, Samantha," Calum said, nodding with encouragement when he saw Samantha hesitating.

"Hi.  My name is Samantha," she said, her voice small.  "I have never been officially diagnosed.  I have never seen a doctor or a therapist for my issues, and this was my first hospitalization...but I didn't, um, cause my hospitalization," Samantha said quietly, fidgeting with her hands as she spoke.  "My chosen coping methods for about 12 years has been self-harm.  I haven't used my, um, chosen coping method for three days," Samantha said, never looking up to meet anyone's eyes.  Feeling their gaze was enough to make her shift uncomfortably.

"Thank you, Sam.  Alright, ladies and gents.  It's 30 minutes of free time, and then, we'll have one-on-ones.  Thank you all for sharing, and for welcoming Samantha into the group," Calum said, beginning to put the chairs away after everyone stood up to go their separate ways.  Samantha turned to help Calum clean up the area.

 

"That was a good share, Sam.  They won't always be that repetitive and structured, I promise," Calum chuckled.  "We can get into some pretty deep discussions sometimes."

"Thanks," Samantha said, handing Calum the rest of the folding chairs they used, helping him lean them against the wall.  "So, Hannah," Samantha laughed dryly.  "What the hell is her deal?"

"Hannah?  She's just... a handful," Calum chuckled, continuing to clean up the area.  "She's been here for several months, and she's definitely made some progress."

"This is 'progress' for her?  Shit, Cal," Samantha laughed.  "I'd hate to see her when she first came in."

"Yeah.  I see that you understand that you're not in a good place, and it's great that you can recognize that, but there will  _ always  _ be someone worse off than you are right now.  Sometimes, being able to actually see that will push you towards getting better.  Feel free to use Hannah as your motivation," Calum laughed, motioning toward the door Hannah had previously used to exit the room.

"So, next is 'free time', right?  What all does that entail?" Samantha asked, walking into the hallway with Calum.

"Freedom!" he stopped in the middle of the hallway to yell, raising his hands above his head in a triumphant gesture.  He waited for Samantha to respond, but when she just looked at him with an eyebrow raised, he dropped his hands to his sides.  "It's 'free time', Sam.  Make a friend, read a book, draw.  You'll find something to do.  Dinner after one-on-ones!" Calum said with a smile, turning to walk down the hallway.   _ What the hell do you do with "free time"?  _ Samantha asked herself.  She had to force herself to move because she knew that what she really wanted to do was sitting in a shoebox somewhere in the facility.  She had no desire to get in trouble her first day here; this may be her only chance to get help.

 

She made her way to the Recreation room where the majority of the other people--  _ patients _ \--were gathered, doing various activities.  Some were on a gaming console of some kind, playing a racing game.  Others were sitting on beanbag chairs and talking or reading.  Paper and various writing utensils caught Samantha's eye, sitting on a table in the corner where no one was.

She made her way towards the table, grabbing a stack of plain paper and beginning to shuffle through the writing utensils until she came across a lead pencil.  Before pencil met paper, the table Samantha was sitting at was pulled from in front of her and flipped.  Samantha moved back just in time for the table to miss her face.  She looked up to see Hannah's eyes shooting daggers her way.

"Get up," Hannah said sharply.

Samantha slid down in her chair, crossing her arms over her chest.  "You know, I would've shared.  All you had to do was ask," she said, making every effort not to laugh at the face of the pouting "adult" in front of her.

"I said 'get up'."

"Oh, I heard you the first time, but the last time I checked, you weren't in charge.  What's the matter, Hanny-poo?  'Did you boohoo and try to end it all'?" Samantha mocked, reaching up to touch the inside of Hannah's arm.  It closely resembled Samantha's, riddled with scars of various sizes.

"Keep it up, bitch, and you'll end up just like Skyler," Hannah rebutted, jerking out of reach.

"Hey!  That's enough, Hannah!"

 

                                                                 

 

Samantha peered around Hannah to see Ashton in a state that she had yet to see him--angry.  She had seen him protective, sad, relaxed, and a mixture of all of them, but she hadn't seen him angry.  She hoped she never had to see that again.  In the short time since she had met Ashton, Samantha had become strangely comfortable with him, as if she had known him for years.  With that odd sense of familiarity came a strange need to see him happy.  That did not look like an emotion he would see in the near future.

 

"What, Ashton?," Hannah said, crossed her arms.  "You know, I'm beginning to think 'that's enough, Hannah' is my actual name," Hannah grumbled, rolling her eyes.

"I just watched you walk over to her and start a confrontation, that's ' _ what _ '.  I've already heard about the little stunt you pulled in group today.  Since you think you can walk around and bully people, you are losing your free time privileges and gaining chores.  Come on, let's go have a chat with Calum and Mr. Vincent," Ashton said, grabbing Hannah's arm just above her elbow and towing her behind him.  She tried to jerk out of his grasp, but she stopped when she saw the look on Ashton's face that dared her to have another fit.

Samantha laughed, bending down to pick up the objects that were previously on the table before trying to flip the table back over.  She looked up to see someone helping her move the table.

 

                                                                             

 

"Don't let her get to you.  She likes to be a bitch to all of the new people, especially when she's off her meds," the man said, sitting in a chair at the table before putting his feet up on it.

"Thanks," she muttered.  She hesitated before taking her own seat at the table, her hands folded in her lap.

"First day?" he asked.  Samantha nodded.

"It’s not always this eventful, so don’t get too hopeful,” he chuckled.

“I don’t know that I would be able to handle the excitement,” Samantha said, rolling her eyes.  That’s all she needed, as a new enemy just as she’s trying to get her life together.

“So, who’s your group leader?” he asked, twirling a pencil between his fingers.

“Calum.  He’s not so bad,” Samantha replied, straightening the stack of papers in front of her.

“Nah, he’s alright.  I’m in his group as well.”

“You weren’t there today,” Samantha stated, eyeing him curiously.  

The man smirked, “Good observation.  I wasn’t there today.  I was in solitary.”

Samantha nodded, too nervous to ask why. She would either find out eventually, or she wasn’t meant to know.

“What’s your name?” he asked, finally looking up from the pencil.

“Samantha.  You?”

“Michael.  What are you in for?” he inquired further, setting his feet down and leaning his elbows on the table.

Samantha hesitated.  She’s about done telling her “story” for the day.  “Self-harm is the short version.”

“Ah, can’t wait to hear the long version,” he winked.  “What’s your poison?”  Samantha raised an eyebrow to silently question his meaning.  “What’s your go-to self-harm tool?”  he explained further.

“Oh.  Blades, mostly.  Whatever cuts,” Samantha said, placing her hands in her lap.

“Kinda guessed that by the scars.  Hey, I’ll show you mine if you show me yours first.  I’ll tell you whose is worse,” Michael said, wiggling an eyebrow and biting his bottom lip.  

 

“Samantha?”

She looked up towards the voice, finding Calum in the doorway of the Rec room. 

“Come on, you’re up for one-on-ones first,” Calum said, a solemn look on his face.  He eyed Michael carefully, silently willing him to behave.

“Sorry, Michael.  I’ll see you ‘round,” Samantha excused herself, moving toward the doorway quickly.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think!

**Author's Note:**

> I know it's heavy subject material, but I still hope you enjoyed it! More to come! 
> 
> Let me know what you think!


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